At e end of a rainbow,dere's always a pot of gold~

2011-02-23T22:28:00.002+08:00

this is probably the first time in 3 months (or more) that im blogging. i've not been blogging for so long to the point that i almost forgot my blogger password lol. sigh. life hasnt been easy so far :( now the stress that im facing does not only constitute academic stress but also emotional and mental stress from co too. sigh. i can actually feel that im physically ageing, omg. THIS IS BAD. well but then again, i cant wait to turn 18. M18 MOVIES OMG. IDIOT RATINGS.

i want to make more new friends.

2010-09-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

IM GOING TO EUROPE IN TWO MONTHS' TIME! :DDDD

mummy has booked a tour for all five of us to paris, switzerland and italy. it cost papa a hefty sum of $4000 x 5= $20000 OMG O.O and that doesnt even include the 8 lunches that we're supposed to settle ourselves throughout the trip. oh wells. plus all the shopping expenses, i think the amount we spent really might go up to 25K. must enjoy myself! ;D i'll be away from 21 nov to 5dec so that's 14 days and exactly 2 weeks hahah. not even as long as the USA trip we went 10years ago, i remember it was 12 days and cost $15k.. haiz the terrors of inflation.

oh and the weather there will be really cold, mum says the temperature will be hovering around five degrees OMG. and it might plunge even lower in the mountaineous regions we're visiting. so we need to go get long johns and i need to borrow from someone cuz i dont want let papa spend unnecessary money again. hope eileen can find hers and can lend me:DD hahahah. and we got to bring alot of luggage cuz of all the thick clothing we need.

i really must work hard for promos! cannot let myself, mummy and papa down especially when he's spending so much money and time on me.

oh and papa got a call from lowrey yesterday regarding my grade8 practical exam results. the receptionist guy said i got distinction, but im currently still in the state of utter disbelief. sorry but i need to see the cert with my own eyes first before i can really be convinced that the examiner wasnt just an irrational person who gave marks based on the number of incorrect notes the candidate plays. i.e. the more wrong notes the higher marks.

off to rest. I WILL STUDY I WILL STUDY I WILL STUDY.

2010-06-16T16:09:00.003+08:00

Newyork was...indescribable. well in a positive way of course. :D i experienced so many new emotions really. and i want to thank the lord for the chance. (:

my trip photos are all on facebook(:

i want the confusion out of my head now. NOW.

2010-05-28T18:37:00.002+08:00

i desperately want the chance to blog everyday again.

mardi gras was yesterday, and i think the atmosphere was really quite disappointing. performances were really not up to standard and only about 50% of people dressed up. i would have dressed up though, if i wasnt a performer. :( haiz, and i dont know why but it got really warm yesterday evening and everyone was just melting away D:

my schoolwork is still in a mess. i've beeen failing really badly, and it's not like i have no sense of urgency. but circumstances really make it so difficult for me to work on my shortcomings :( the only things that make me happy with school is the ultimately fun MEP lessons that im taking :D ok and i know im not supposed to blog about pw but i seriously have to express my disgust and appall at the gross, torturous subject. D:

TJCO's concert 2010 is tmr. i'll give it my all. thanks so much to all who have bought tickets from me and to all that are going for the concert(: i've sold a total of 12 tickets:D
hopefully, there'll be some of me left for my mep practical exam on monday.
i dont wanna fail it, i really dont. D: it's the only subject that's keeping me going.

COUNTDOWN TO NEWYORKCITY: 5 DAYS.
OMG FIVE.

i wanna kiss you in the rain(:

2010-05-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

i learnt so much today, and in so many different aspects.

i love you. (:

2010-05-19T08:34:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a damn crappy day i swear. gosh, the crazy memory of it still haunts me :(

i've been going for so many concerts these days i cannot even keep track of my own timeline. how ironic and morbid lol. anyway mj choir concert was not bad hahaha great job eileen! im so proud of you:D

co is still draining the hell out of me... somebody help, and the only way you can do tht is to get excuse for me to pon :P well without making me sick of course.

im supposed to have lit tutorial now but miss nansi isnt here (i've no idea why) :((((( i really need to have lit discussions.

me and my stupid random thoughts.

i cannot imagine how i can survive through the next two weeks going home at 9 everyday. LITERALLY, NO JOKE.

2010-05-08T16:02:00.003+08:00

school is starting to feel like a chore. im totally suffering from a severe lack of sleep, due to the frigging long hours spent in school and especially CO. imagine going home at 8+ and reaching home at 9.30 every week on tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays! and although there are much lesser tests to study for, i still find the workload and activities so energy-draining.

am loving MEP more and more and more with every day that passes. :DDD

i feel like writing back in my diary again, instead of blogging.

somehow a diary feels so much closer.

2010-05-05T23:49:00.002+08:00

have been really confused lately. gush of emotions, thoughts, feelings that are so less than overwhelming.

i need a break, and i need to overcome you.
You.
YOU.

2010-04-15T17:25:00.004+08:00

havent been blogging in a fairly long time.. i really wonder if people actually do visit my blog cuz the tags are just miserable. haha. but anyway. life's as usual, but i kinda of have a bad feeling of the things that are gonna come along soon. really soon.

something like a bad OMEN. A REAL BAD ONE.

and im scared.

the path has gotten rocky as we all know it.
it seems like a landslide is about to occur, soon, inside of me.

I MUST SLEEP BEFORE ELEVEN TODAY.

2010-04-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

im falling in love with berets. like these.

2010-03-27T14:54:00.002+08:00

im supposed to leave for violin lesson in like half an hour's time, i havent started practising and im in front of my netty for already 2 hours - WHAT discipline do you call this!? :(

went for jamming yesterday again with the OG2 peeps, haha. i cant believe we're offered the chance to perform in a gig. manz, i never saw this coming, i never even imagined myself performing in a band in front of people. and i cant help but feel more apprehensive than excited about it.. like, i never thought and do not think im good enough for this. and its not only about being good enough; my confidence in performance is seriously not there at all. urgh, its just so hard to describe the feeling im experiencing. yes, i am enjoying the process of making music but somehow i just feel.. foreign.

ok, 4mins of blogging and this is what i got. kind of shitty, but still i managed something.

why i do i sound like an idiot today.

2010-03-25T19:01:00.002+08:00

Ok.. my blog has been obviously dead for such a long long time ever since i last blogged on 9th march. it hasnt really been my fault, looking at my pathetic schedule that ends late everyday..

anyway, the first week of term2 so far has been not only a blur of events, but a whirlwind of emotions. at least that's the case for me. i realise that i no longer feel inferior when it comes to failure of understanding concepts or learning new things, rather, i start feeling angry with myself. and i seriously dont understand why but whenever i feel this way, i become real quiet first, and then start finding faults with people to laugh at. like how i start laughing hysterically to the extent where my tears start spilling everywhere whenever the tutors have flaws in their pronounciation. yes, PRODUSHING. its really sinister and evil, but somehow my outlet of stress relief has shifted. still, i guess this year has been a much much better year than the last, when i was totally wallowing in self-pity the whole time round. i cant allow myself to lag behind, and yet at the same time, i dont want myself to be too stressed out. i guess it's kinda hard for a libra like me to have everything in perfect balance like how i always want things to be.

another thing that makes me feel sad is the fact that im really kind of a failure at keeping in contact with my past friends :(( actually i think the main problem is my poor time management skills, i seriously procrastinate so much. i want to meet up with eileen again again! :\

co has been halted for such a long time i feel out of place in school not having to attend practices :( really cant wait for saturday saturday saturday yay.

2010-03-09T21:20:00.003+08:00

today was an extremely slackish day and i have to admit that i feel so guilty for wasting so much of my time.

i had the humanities scholarship interview and i think it went quite badly:( the questions they asked me on my essay were so weird and i was even stumped for words for some of the questions that were so hypothetical in nature. for eg, they asked "what do you think can be done to minimise parents' desire to push their children in their academics and talents?" like, hello, what can be done seriously. after thinking for like 5 seconds i gave a stupid answer and said parents should be educated through the media like the newspapers and talks organised by the school, and also, children should communicate more with their parents to discuss their abilities. and they also asked me if i exert any influence on my circle of friends. again i gave some stupid answer saying that i try to encourage and motivate my friends who feel negatively toward school. oh well, it's over and i guess i shouldn't brood over it anymore. :P then me and azalea went to bugis for lunch at yoshinoya (haha pon school) and we had an AWESOMEZ FUNNY time there LOLL. i think azalea's chinese compo is seriously damn funny and screwed up cos of all the horrific descriptions i added in.. i think i sorta made it worse with all the additional words added. hahaha lol but at least she hit 400 words... haha not bad for having to write on someone that's so quiet huh. :DD

ok i guess i better go and do some proper work if not my 24 hours of today, 9 march 2010 will seriously be wasted and i really hate it when im wasting time D:

happy birthday dillian!! :D

2010-03-08T17:07:00.002+08:00

in the past when the wind blew
my hair messy
i used to keep it very much in place
or at least
i tried to
keep the strands in place

but now
when my hair gets messy
i feel like
i don't really care much about
anything.

my playing in CO practice today was seriously screwed up, and to the max SCREWED. that wasn't even my hands playing, i felt possessed. dora chan does not play yangqin in such a screwed up manner.

happy birthday in advance to dillian, whose birthday is tmr.:D

wish me luck for my humanities scholarship interview tmr, im gonna have to be interrogated and slammed by 3-4 MOE officials/principals for a whole stressful 10-15 mins at 11.15a.m.

2010-03-04T22:18:00.002+08:00

it has been another crazy week full of events that inevitably clash into one another, making me rush from place to place just to fulfill my busy schedule.

we just had literature night in school from 6-8.15, and i must say it was really really awesome. it was so inspirational i even felt like crying after listening to some very touching and sad poems. and the singer who accompanied miss nansi was so, so professional too. enjoyed myself thoroughly, felt like my soul was being cleansed haha.

i also had gamma 800m finals just now. haha, my position was not in the least good, i can frankly spell out my position: 15/19. actually there was supposed to be 21 girls but 2 dropped out. im not feeling sad like how i felt during my sec2 napfa run when i got position 12th, or disappointed like how i felt after the roadrun in february. i guess i've really have done my best and there's nothing and no one i can blame except myself for the unimpressive position. im not saying im demoralised or angry at myself, in fact im really satisfied with my performance cos it was my utmost best(:

don't we realise we don't have to be first in everything?
i finally understand why sometimes, Position
doesn't really matter.

school is such a whirlwind; if things could slow down by just a second, it would make a huge difference.

im inspired to write poetry:D

2010-03-02T22:28:00.002+08:00

i've been feeling like dancing recently, like a really fast-paced dance that pushes the heart. how weird:D

school is still great, baby. (:
except that in TJCO i find myself less significant and valued as compared to in AHSCO. well, i guess it's all about fitting in.

I WILL RUN MY BEST ON THURSDAY FOR GAMMA FINALS 800M.

2010-03-01T10:47:00.002+08:00

Strengthsquest.com:

Focus

Theme Description

“Where am I headed?” you ask yourself. You ask this question every day. Guided by this theme of Focus, you need a clear destination. Lacking one, your life and your work can quickly become frustrating. And so each year, each month, and even each week you set goals. These goals then serve as your compass, helping you determine priorities and make the necessary corrections to get back on course. Your Focus is powerful because it forces you to filter; you instinctively evaluate whether or not a particular action will help you move toward your goal. Those that don’t are ignored. In the end, then, your Focus forces you to be efficient. Naturally, the flip side of this is that it causes you to become impatient with delays, obstacles, and even tangents, no matter how intriguing they appear to be. This makes you an extremely valuable team member. When others start to wander down other avenues, you bring them back to the main road. Your Focus reminds everyone that if something is not helping you move toward your destination, then it is not important. And if it is not important, then it is not worth your time. You keep everyone on point.

Action Items

You can take a direction, follow through, and make the necessary corrections to stay on track.

You prioritize your life and tasks, and then take action.

You set goals that keep you effective and efficient.

You become frustrated when you when a group you are a part of doesn’t have clear goals or direction. Likewise, your life and work become frustrating when your goals are unclear.

Some of your greatest contribution as a team member might come as you help others set goals. When you work on group projects, take responsibility for summarizing what was decided, defining when these decisions will be acted upon, and setting a date when the group will reconvene.

Take the time to write down your goals and post them where you can refer to them often. You will feel more grounded and in control of your life when you keep your eye on the target.

Your powerful goal orientation could at times supersede your people orientation. Make sure the people you care about understand that you appreciate an opportunity for intense focus, but also that you are always happy to hear them knock on your door.

Partner with Ideation or Strategic talents before honing in on a goal, so you can gain confidence that your Focus talents are aimed in the most effective direction.

When given assignments, clarify timelines and expectations in advance. You become discontent with what you see as “busy work.”

You can spend long periods of time concentrating on one thing. This allows you to be highly productive, but can lead to even greater excellence if you set aside those periods of time intentionally and let others know why you’re doing that.

Use your focus to link class-related assignments to the knowledge and self-management skills you’ll need to be successful in your future career.

Use your focus to help groups stay on track in classroom discussions or meetings.

If you feel an assignment has no practical value to you, develop one that better fits your goals, and request permission from your professor to use it. Explain the potential benefits.

When working with others in a small group, help them see how the pieces of a project fit together to accomplish the overall objective.

Before studying, list everything you’ll attempt to learn during that time period.

Before writing a paper, outline the main points you plan to address.

Although you can concentrate for long periods of time, regulate yourself to avoid working to exhaustion.

Schedule your work in a way that allows you to focus your full attention on one assignment or project at a time.

Talk to two or three experienced people you admire. Determine some specific strengths they possess, and ask them about their greatest talents and the knowledge and skills they acquired through the years to create these strengths.

Choose to associate with successful people. Ask what they focused on to become successful.

Identify an alumnus who’s in a career that interests you, and spend time with that person to determine how he or she benefited from the college experience.

Select classes that will help you fulfill your long-term goals.

Select classes that have defined direction and objectives.

Choose professors who are known for staying on track.

Look for an internship in an area related to your career goals.

Select class-related and extra-curricular activities related to your career goals.

To build on your Focus talents and not “spread yourself too thin,” be selective in the range of activities you are involved in.

Set specific goals for your career planning. What do you want to achieve by the time you graduate? This attention to your destination and how you will get there will be very engaging and will provide great benefits.

Spend some dedicated time reading about careers that interest you and following up with internet searches. Your ability to concentrate on a task will stand you in good stead as you research career possibilities.

Although your Focus talents can reveal themselves through highly proactive goal setting, you might sometimes need to have a target identified for you.

You are capable of prolonged concentration and persistence, which flourishes in environments with few interruptions and little need to multi-task.

Structured environments that are predictable, detail-oriented, and reward your dependability and follow-through are likely to bring out your best.

You might be most satisfied in roles that have identifiable goals, purposes, and objectives, and that provide opportunities to meet your own longer-term goals.

Discipline

Theme Description

Your world needs to be predictable. It needs to be ordered and planned. So you instinctively impose structure on your world. You set up routines. You focus on timelines and deadlines. You break long-term projects into a series of specific short-term plans, and you work through each plan diligently. You are not necessarily neat and clean, but you do need precision. Faced with the inherent messiness of life, you want to feel in control. The routines, the timelines, the structure, all of these help create this feeling of control. Lacking this theme of Discipline, others may sometimes resent your need for order, but there need not be conflict. You must understand that not everyone feels your urge for predictability; they have other ways of getting things done. Likewise, you can help them understand and even appreciate your need for structure. Your dislike of surprises, your impatience with errors, your routines, and your detail orientation don’t need to be misinterpreted as controlling behaviors that box people in. Rather, these behaviors can be understood as your instinctive method for maintaining your progress and your productivity in the face of life’s many distractions.

Action Items

You find ways to organize yourself to get things done on time.

You tend to place yourself in productive environments.

You create order and structure where it is needed.

Some people may label you as compulsive, anal, or a control freak because of your ability to discipline yourself and structure your world. But these attributes make you productive — often more so than your critics.

Your role in any setting is often to provide structure and keep things organized.

Research new organizational or time-management systems. They can make you even more efficient and confident.

Create routines that make you follow through systematically. Share your reasons for those routines with other people.

Try to maintain a structured lifestyle. Find a place for everything. Keeping your personal space neat is something you do naturally, but don’t neglect it when you get stressed. It will serve to stabilize you when the pressure hits.

Time for planning is a key to your achievements. Honor this aspect of who you are rather than trying to “wing it” as some of your friends may encourage you to do.

Develop a calendar, and make things fit into it. Identify when and where to study and work. Have a time each day to go over your schedule for the next day.

Others may confuse your Discipline talents with rigidity. Be ready to explain to others how your structure and organization enable you to pack more effectiveness into your day.

Schedule all assignments, exams, and papers due for the term.

Clean and organize your living space before any major assignments are due or before an examination period.

If you are in a self-paced class or a class with minimal structure, develop your own structure to ensure that you meet the class requirements.

Don’t be afraid to color-code tasks on your calendar and your textbooks or notes. This will help you focus and prioritize what you are learning and doing.

Before starting papers, talk to instructors to find out what they expect and how they will grade the papers.

When you come across an unfamiliar word, finish the sentence, look the word up, then reread the sentence.

When preparing for a test, get organized. Collect all notes, have terms defined and facts highlighted and/or listed, and have possible questions available.

When you are working on a paper, it may be best to make an outline, breaking the topic down into parts that you can work on individually.

Use your discipline to stay ahead in reading assignments. Go over your lecture notes within 12 hours of taking them.

Make a list of all academic tasks that you need to complete for the day. Check items off as you complete them.

Find some friends who are as organized as you are. You will not disappoint each other.

Be the organizer for your friends, giving them friendly calls to remind them of when and where you are meeting for dinner, a movie, or other get-togethers.

Delight in a partnership of planning a trip or fun event with a friend. Write down each detail so that the event will meet expectations for both of you.

When choosing classes, arrange them in a way that allows studying during the times that you are more productive. Be realistic.

Give top priority to classes that you must take for graduation requirements or your major.

Choose professors who structure their courses and have clear expectations.

Volunteer to be a timekeeper for an event. Your accuracy will be appreciated.

Join a group in which you can use your organizational talents to help plan some major events, breaking down tasks to ensure that deadlines will be met.

Organize a monthly or quarterly “clean up” on your living floor, in which people clear away excess papers, files, clothing, etc. Play some music, and arrange to have food brought in to make the task more appealing and fun for others.

Collect all the information you might need about making a career choice. Use your natural discipline to organize it as you prepare to make a decision.

Lay out all the steps of the career planning process and follow them one by one. Put the steps on a timeline, as timelines often motivate you.

Environments in which you can maintain order for yourself and others will enable you to be most effective. Your organizational talents can be useful in a wide variety of settings.

Environments that are structured and detail-oriented, with clearly established routines and procedures, will likely bring out your best. Cluttered, unpredictable environments may not allow your Discipline talents to flourish.

Work that demands high levels of abstract thinking probably will not be comfortable for you. A daily routine and concrete expectations from others likely will enable you to be most productive.

Environments that value attention to detail and commitment to accuracy will be a good fit for you. Read about the work that air traffic controllers, brain surgeons, tax specialists, and executive assistants do.

Maximizer

Theme Description

Excellence, not average, is your measure. Taking something from below average to slightly above average takes a great deal of effort and in your opinion is not very rewarding. Transforming something strong into something superb takes just as much effort but is much more thrilling. Strengths, whether yours or someone else’s, fascinate you. Like a diver after pearls, you search them out, watching for the telltale signs of a strength. A glimpse of untutored excellence, rapid learning, a skill mastered without recourse to steps—all these are clues that a strength may be in play. And having found a strength, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it toward excellence. You polish the pearl until it shines. This natural sorting of strengths means that others see you as discriminating. You choose to spend time with people who appreciate your particular strengths. Likewise, you are attracted to others who seem to have found and cultivated their own strengths. You tend to avoid those who want to fix you and make you well rounded. You don’t want to spend your life bemoaning what you lack. Rather, you want to capitalize on the gifts with which you are blessed. It’s more fun. It’s more productive. And, counterintuitively, it is more demanding.

Action Items

You see talents and strengths in others, sometimes before they do.

You love to help others become excited by the natural potential of their talents.

You have the capacity to see what people will do best and which jobs they will be good at. You can see how people’s talents match the tasks that must be completed.

Some people may see you as picky or plodding because they don’t understand your exceptional commitment to excellence.

You have a nose for excellence. This talent means you are able to give helpful input and advice about who does what well. In group assignments, your role may be to help the group capitalize on each person’s talents most effectively.

Seek opportunities to help other people succeed. Consider coaching your intramural team or volunteer to be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Your focus on talents will prove particularly beneficial. For example, because most people find it difficult to describe what they do best, start by arming them with vivid descriptions.

To maximize most effectively, focus on your greatest talents, as they are your best opportunities for strengths. Acquire and refine related skills. Gain relevant knowledge. Keep working toward strength in your areas of greatest potential.

Develop a plan to use your talents outside of academics. Consider how they relate to your mission in life and how they might benefit your family or the community.

Study success. Spend time with people whose talents you admire. The more you understand how talents lead to success, the more likely you will be to create success in your own life.

Be careful that your discriminating sense about excellent performance doesn’t extend to discrimination about people. Find the best within each person you encounter and let them know what you see.

Not everyone likes to hear how they can improve. Make the most of your Maximizer talents by giving people encouraging feedback before suggesting ways they could be even better.

Consider specialized programs that allow you to refine your talents.

Find mentors — and be one.

Study success. Find out what made famous scientists, historic figures, and great innovators successful. The greatest outcome of college can be your insights into what makes people, societies, cultures, and groups successful.

Select a college or university that offers leadership opportunities in which you can maximize the talents of others.

Read wherever you feel most comfortable — the library, the coffee shop, or home.

Discover your best way to learn, and stick to it.

Determine ways to manage any weaknesses in your study habits.

Study the most of what you do the best.

Make a point of helping your friends use their greatest talents to the fullest.

Help your friends recognize the talents and strengths in others.

Associate with people who appreciate your talents as well as their own.

Meet regularly with mentors and role models for insight, advice, and inspiration.

Pick elective courses that will provide opportunities to develop new strengths and hone your existing strengths.

Choose your major on the basis of your greatest talents and your personal mission. In what area of study do you have the greatest potential for strengths?

Seek classes taught by professors whose teaching styles best match the way you learn.

Find an internship or a job in which you can apply your greatest talents and your existing strengths.

Involve yourself in mentoring or tutoring.

Join organizations that have missions related to development.

Talk to your mentors about the career planning process. You will value their wisdom and expertise as you make decisions.

Interview people who are currently among the “best of the best” in jobs that interest you. Ask them what they find most rewarding about their work. Shadow them to see what they really do day in and day out. Notice the talents, knowledge, and skills that excellence in those roles requires.

You are someone for whom “talent talk” comes naturally — it’s the way you see the world as you capitalize on your own and others’ talents. Environments that encourage “best practices” and in which you can work collaboratively with others to continually improve the organization will allow your Maximizer talents to flourish.

Choose a workplace that is known for being among the best in its field. Workplaces with lesser standards probably would frustrate you.

Find work in which you can help others see their talents and how their talents make a difference.

Interview business leaders and athletic or executive coaches, and ask what they find most rewarding about their work. Find out how they bring out the best in others.

Significance

Theme Description

You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people. In the truest sense of the word you want to be recognized. You want to be heard. You want to stand out. You want to be known. In particular, you want to be known and appreciated for the unique strengths you bring. You feel a need to be admired as credible, professional, and successful. Likewise, you want to associate with others who are credible, professional, and successful. And if they aren’t, you will push them to achieve until they are. Or you will move on. An independent spirit, you want your work to be a way of life rather than a job, and in that work you want to be given free rein, the leeway to do things your way. Your yearnings feel intense to you, and you honor those yearnings. And so your life is filled with goals, achievements, or qualifications that you crave. Whatever your focus—and each person is distinct—your Significance theme will keep pulling you upward, away from the mediocre toward the exceptional. It is the theme that keeps you reaching.

Action Items

You probably enjoy receiving public recognition for the differences you make.

You want to have an impact on other people, groups, and society as a whole.

You want the contributions you make to be viewed as substantial, powerful, and significant.

Significance talents are sometimes perceived as egotism or a need for attention.

You probably are most engaged and effective when you have some sense of control and choice. Seek independent projects that give you freedom to excel.

Your reputation is important to you, so decide what you want it to be, and tend to it in the smallest detail. Identify and earn a designation that will add to your credibility, write an article for the campus newspaper that will give you visibility, or volunteer to speak in front of a group that will appreciate your achievements.

Identify your best moment of recognition or praise. What was it for? Who gave it to you? Who was the audience? What do you have to do to recreate that moment?

Being seen as credible, professional, and successful is important to you. Consider joining student organizations tied to your major. These can be opportunities to develop your credentials and professional expertise as you head into a career or to graduate school.

You value appreciation and affirmation. Tell the significant people in your life how important their feedback and support are to you. Their words can motivate you to even higher levels of achievement.

Be aware that you often want the significant people in your life to be proud of you. You enjoy the challenge of meeting others’ expectations. Share your dreams and goals with your family or closest friends. Their resulting expectations of you will keep you reaching for those dreams and goals.

Above all, you want to make your mark on the world. You deeply care about making a difference. Decide which actions are likely to have the most impact in an area you care about. Take risks and step into the spotlight.

Think about why a particular class is important to your future.

Identify three of your personal goals and connect them to your academic life.

Take control of your life, beginning with your education.

Create a list of goals that will bring you great satisfaction in your personal life. Then consider how college can help you reach those goals.

Take a leadership role in a study group.

Choose to study with other hard-charging classmates.

Establish relationships with your professors so they know who you are and of your interest in achieving.

Associate with professors and students whose interests and goals are similar to your own.

You want people to know who you are. Become friends with people in your classes by initiating conversations with them.

You want people to appreciate your work, but if appreciation is not shown, don’t give up. Work even harder.

Choose classes that offer you some independence.

Select classes relevant to your goals and desires.

Select classes in which you can be highly successful.

Take part in activities that display and make use of your confidence — make public appearances, climb mountains.

Run for an elected office.

Think about people you admire and what they have in common. Talk to them about the work they do and what they find rewarding about it. Ask them to give you feedback about your own goals and strategies for meeting them.

Significant people do significant things. Imagine the legacy you want to leave. Picture yourself at retirement, looking back on a life that has made the world a better place. What will you have you done to accomplish that?

Environments in which you and your significant contribution are visible to others and in which you receive recognition for a job well done are likely to bring out your best.

Knowing you’ve made a significant contribution is important to you. Volunteer in organizations where you can make that difference and where your efforts will be appreciated.

Seek opportunities to work with people you respect because they are professional, credible, and successful.

Environments in which you are given flexibility to do things your own way are likely to bring out your best.

Identify the specific talents that will help you make an extraordinary contribution to your workplace, and create opportunities to build on them.

Belief

Theme Description

If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics—both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. “I know where you stand,” they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.

Action Items

You have core values that are unchanging. You may conflict with people who oppose or don’t value your beliefs.

You have deeply held ideas about what is, what should be, and the purpose of your life.

You naturally become enthusiastic and energetic about tasks, roles, or positions that promote your deeply held beliefs.

Some people may think you are rigid or contrary because of your strongly held beliefs.

When you live your life according to your deepest values and beliefs, you experience motivation, drive, and determination.

Your energy comes from your sense of mission and purpose. Remember to connect the choices you make to the “why” so you will be fully committed.

Think about the values you cherish most. Continue to clarify them so you can communicate them better to others

To give voice to your values, partner with people who have exceptional talents in Communication or Woo. This approach will help others know who you are and how to relate to you.

Actively seek roles that fit your values. In particular, think about joining organizations that define their purposes by the contribution they make to society.

Listen closely to hear others’ values and beliefs. Tune in to those as ways of connecting with other people.

Consider defining your beliefs in more positive terms, focusing on what you are “for” rather than what you are “against.” This might help you be perceived in a more positive way.

Express your values outside of academics. Look to community service or volunteer work for opportunities that are a good fit with your value system.

Write an academic mission statement for yourself. Integrate your core values, such as a leaving the world better than you found it, curing AIDS, ending violence, or affirming the dignity of each human being.

Discover ways to weave your core values into routine classroom assignments. Write and speak about topics directly related to your beliefs.

Read about individuals who stood up for their convictions in the face of resistance. Determine who inspired these people to dedicate their lives to great and noble causes.

Debate an issue like: “Money is the true source of happiness.” Argue for and against this proposition. Ask yourself, “How was my position strengthened when I could incorporate my beliefs into the argument? How was my position weakened when I had to defend the opposing point of view?”

List your top three to five beliefs on a piece of paper you can use as a bookmark. Filter whatever you are reading and hearing through the lenses of these core values.

Assess whether you are allocating enough time to classes, projects, and assignments that add meaning to your life.

Suggest alternative topics for reading and research to your professors. Match your preferred assignments to one or more of your core values.

Form a study group of individuals with whom you share one or more important belief. Ask each member to describe how these core values contribute to his or her success as a student.

Tell your classmates and professors about the ideas, causes, and projects you are most passionate about.

Encourage others to tell you when your intensity inspires them and when it overwhelms them. Maintain an ongoing dialogue to ensure that they understand you.

State what you believe is right and wrong. Help others grasp what you value and why you value it.

Notice instances when you willingly inconvenienced yourself to come to the aid of a specific person or group. Ask, “Which of my core values drove this behavior?”

Enroll in ethics classes. Learn to evaluate the rightness of decisions in fields such as science, medicine, business, government, religion, and environmental protection.

Risk advocating your beliefs in class discussions as well as conversations with classmates and instructors.

Choose courses taught by professors known for their strong beliefs, even when their values clash with yours. Realize that considering the values of others can help you refine your own.

Select classes that challenge you to clarify, reinforce, defend, and live out the guiding principles of your life.

Figure out ways to spend quality time with your family. Make a point of going home or calling to show you are thinking of them on birthdays and special holidays.

Consider running for a campus office. Build your campaign platform on values-oriented issues that matter greatly to you. Inform potential voters about what you stand for and why.

Practice speaking a foreign language by helping a refugee family adapt to their new country and its customs.

Spend time thinking about your “calling.” Once you have articulated this mission, seek more information at the career center about careers that can help you fulfill it.

A mentoring relationship can provide a valuable way for you to gain insight into the fit between who you are and what you were meant to do with your life. Mentoring and being mentored increases the chances for your behaviors, decisions, and beliefs to remain congruent.

Environments that are a good fit with your own mission and beliefs will bring out your best. Seek employment in companies and organizations that exhibit a strong sense of mission — that is, a commitment to positively affecting the quality of people’s lives.

Research opportunities in helping professions such as medicine, law enforcement, social work, refugee relocation, teaching, ministry, and search-and-rescue. Talk with people who provide services to individuals in need. Interview those who supervise them.

Environments that are people-oriented, that provide service to others, or that reward personal growth are likely to allow your Belief talents to flourish.

Workplaces that respect your commitment to your family and allow for a balance between work and family demands will enable you to thrive.

2010-02-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

my body clock's kinda screwed, i dont feel sleepy until it is like around 11 plus and then because i go to sleep so late i have difficulty waking up the next day:(

this week has been an average one, lectures (esp maths) are getting more and more boring. especially with a certain pregnant teacher speaking at a snail's pace and then rushing through the harder examples at the end of the lesson just so that she can finish them 'on time'. how ironic when no one catches anything she is trying to explain.

i think econs is my favourite subject now heehee:D i just find it so interesting, cant explain why. its like its so easy to understand and i can totally accept and absorb all the new concepts im learning, immediately. NOT LIKE SOME STUPID FLEMING'S LEFT/RIGHT HAND RULE IN PHYSICS THAT I TOOK ABOUT A MONTH TO UNDERSTAND LAST YEAR. lol, but seriously econs is damn fun and although i screwed up the pop quiz that we had, i still find it nice to study:D literature is really really interesting and intriguing because all the different poems we're analysing now can totally bring me to new senses and new emotions that i cannot really experience in real life:D i used to hate poems alot because i wasnt strong in them at all but now i guess im starting to realise the beauty of poems:D each and every one of them are really like stars:)

"If emptiness is white, staring into that fluorescent light must be falling in love."
- Cyril Wong

Love is empty ,
it has no reason,
it is an illusion,
it is pure and SIMPLE.

LOVE THIS REALLY.:D

2010-02-20T14:32:00.002+08:00

i watched valentine's day yesterday with cherlene, joscelin and joanne.
IT WAS A DUMB SHOW.

qianru couldnt join us cause she had a SC meeting at the last minute and cherilynn had guitar sit-in session. it was sad that we couldnt all get together to talk and go crazy but on the brighter side, both of them didnt have to deal with watching a stupid show. i was seriously expecting so much more frm the movie! :( okay well 50% of my want to watch it was because of the taylor duo in it (in particular the GUY:D), but how disappointing, the pair only came out for like a measly 2 minutes in all the scenes put together D: yes cherlene, i totally agree it is a marketing strategy and a SCHEMING one at that. the movie didnt even deserve to be called one, it was made up of all cut-and-paste videos plastered together that make it seem like a disjunct film. ok wahtever, im so lucky i didnt have to pay more than $6 for it. haha the only funny bit in the movie was the part where the guy in the plane tried using his foot to pull down the window shutter so as not to disturb the poor damsel next to him sleeping on his shoulder. :)

oh and qianru, all the best for Student Council, it's not going to be easy and i wish you MUCH LUCK:D shall not comment further though lol.

school is still a breeze, even though some may say they are already feeling the heat. i think im kinda lucky as an arts student, my timetable isnt all that bad. my earliest day is thursday when i finish school at 3pm and my latest days are tues & wed when i end at 730 due to CO prac. the rest of the days i end at 3.50/4.40(: plus many free periods in between because i dont take geog/hist/chinese/KI.(: i end up spending them in the library, which is really the best and most conducive place to study or rest in. another reason why im totally enjoying school right now is because of the beautiful subjects that im taking HAHAHA. there is not even one of them that i dislike abit. LOVE MY LUCK:D oh and did i mention the fact that we have to walk from venue to venue for different lectures/tutorials makes my jc experience so cool and fun:D

math really gets easy with more practice(:

2010-02-13T16:06:00.002+08:00

6months of abstinence from running + sore throat & cough from O-night + phlegm/mucus clogging throat + 5.5hours of sleep the previous night = position 127 in roadrun.

i cannot say im not disappointed with my result. what indeed has happened to me, seriously. i used to be within the top ten positions of the girl runners in 2.4km, and now... :( earning the medal for 1st place with beta team one only made me more determined to train harder for next year's road run, and i will really really do it.

cny carnival was quite fun too, with lots of mad people throwing water bombs at each other and making the canteen floor really wet and dirty. lol. the only thing i didnt favour about the event was the crazy prices of the food and beverages sold by the various stalls. $2.50 for a measly plate of crazily oily fries that feel like worms and cheese spread? like REALLY. i gave some of the closer ones & the pretty OGLs some vday gifts too and it made me feel good seeing them receive my gift, even though it was really just a small token. i love the expression on shannen's face the most when i gave it to her! her face was 100% confusion. :D i also put my mortal's (zhiting) gift in the shelf outside SC room. hope she goes collect it.(: oh yea and thankyou jingwen, cherilynn, qianru and amanda for your gifts in advance! :D i love my balloon from qianru and the pretty drawing on it (explicitly by joanne) HAHAHAA!

after the cny celebration, we went back to ahs. initially we wanted to go collect the yearbooks and visit some teachers but in the end the staff in the general office told us to collect them only with our testimonials which will only be (when?). met cherlene there and we talked for a while before going to simei burger king, where we got reminded of the times we spent studying for O levels there. ate abit and talked about many interesting stuffs like how Little Red Riding Hood can be so impure lol:D haha literature really can make me think loads (: after chatting for about 2 hours we went t tampines mall for some shopping. haha we had a GREAT TIME at thefaceshop, playing with the wide variety of nail polish colours. i ended up going home with different colours on all my ten fingers lol. was debating internally whether to buy the happy orange or luscious gold, and finally i chose gold haha. I LOVE MY GOLD NAILS, THEY SHALL GIVE ME LUCK IN GAMBLING DURING CHINESE NEW YEAR:D joscelin bought a very sweet pink polish and cherlene bought pink eyeshadow& nude blusher(: SWEET SEVENTEEN GIRLS:D

ok i feel bimbotic lol.

oh ya and when we were playing with the polishes, there was this little girl of about 2 years with her parents who went up to qianru wailing, demanding for her balloon. and seriously qianru, i totally disagree with you on your decision to give up your balloon to that spoilt girl. her parents didnt even thank you or stop their kid from taking your balloon! look at how disastrous some parenting can be. they cant even take their kid in hand properly. if that was my kid i'll like drag her away immediately and stuff a pacifier into her mouth. ok you can call me evil but ohmanz i cant stand spoilt kids like seriously.:((

relatives are coming over for 团圆饭later so mum's chasing me off the computer. shall write again soon:D

i think facebook is really dominating.

2010-02-10T00:31:00.002+08:00

i just finished writing the essay for the application for the music elective scholarship, phew. well actually it was more of editing the content of my testimonial from secondary school that i prepared haha. anyway, i really hope i get granted the scholarship! so many things can be done with $1000 manz seriously.

today was my first music lesson, and i must say it was enlightening(: haha not only on the knowledge of the A level syllabus, but also about the tj culture. all the nine selected mep students played at least 2 instruments each. i felt kind of hesitant to say tt i could play violin as well because in fact i have only been learning it for 2-3 months.. LOL. some of them could even play 4 instruments and that is really quite impressive. ms chew seems a nice teacher too, at least responsible enough (: she says that this year the mep students might be going for a trip to russia. this got me damn excited man haha! anyway, we have 4 guys, 5 girls. nice mix(:

i feel like im on a roller coaster ride, only that there're no plunges, only continuous positive gradients:D

Tj lectures are really cool i love them. even though some may say it's easier to fall asleep in a huge classroom setting where everyone is given much less attention. i beg to differ, in fact i feel more awake with knowledge of the fact that i'll miss out so much if i even dare to stop paying attention for a minute. economics and literature lectures are the best so far, i really like the theories of economics, they are so logical and goddamn easy. literature does makes me think alot and it feels really good to just let ur imagination flow.

ohboy, i feel like im having the time of my life. THIS is the kind of study life i want! :D

2010-02-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

so many things have been going on recently that i dont know what to write about first.

Orientation X was a blast, undeniably. especially the mass dances:D haha i dont know why i enjoy dancing in crowds so much man. although i definitely have to say that the first day wasnt really quite a tasteful one. i felt worse than shit when i knew that vjc doesnt offer music. (okay, i've talked about this mils of times but still.) honestly the feeling is even worse than not being able to enter the jc that you want OR even the feeling of getting back horrible results. it was like being robbed of something that was so precious and so rightfully mine. and i think this is perhaps the first time in my life i've made such an important decision by and for myself.

1st option: remain in vj arts and take another arts subject besides music. that means either china studies/art/theatre studies & drama/geog/hist.
2nd option:transfer to tj arts to take music.

which one would you choose if you were me?
to me, the subject of pursuit definitely triumphs over the school of prestige.

and let me tell you also that it is freaking intimidating to be in a state of uncertainity, especially when it concerns your future. i never ever want to be in that situation again.

2nd day was slightly better, although i felt extremely weird when i stepped into the auditorium/hall. it felt weirder to see my other secondary schoolmates and have them asking me why i transferred. needless to say irritating, to have them criticise or complain about my decision in changing school, saying it's so wasted and all that. i mean, would you rather i stayed in a prestigious school but suffer by having to take subjects that are unfamiliar to me/that i have completely zero interest in? and yea, tj's uniform is ugly, but i think i can sacrifice wearing an ugly uniform for two years rather than my A lvl results. okay to be frank i cannot really remmber what happened on the 2nd day except that i ordered my uniforms and went for literature lecture and sat for the music test in the afternoon.

as far as my memory prides me we had wet games on the 3rd day. those were REALLY cool especially the one on the stadium tracks. strategy, teamwork, accuracy and luck were required in equal proportions for this game and that really made it fun:D i wasnt quite as enthu for the cheers because of my dampened mood that lasted a few days and also because of my unfamiliarity with the weird cheers. (i mean, shabuya sha sha? like, huh?) and i got terribly sunburnt especially on the cheek and nose region. we also had to start planning on the items to be auditioned on wednesday and subsequently, if selected, be performed on O night. they included the TalentNight segment and the OG performance. and being an unfortunate member of the performing arts, i got dragged to the TalentNight segment :\ we finally decided on doing Innocence by Avril Lavigne and i was supposed to play keyboard. ok before i go on let me declare that my playing really really was misunderstandably screwed up. SOMEONE in particular even pointed out that OH SHIT we're performing next and your chords are always wrong! What an encouraging comment to be made just a minute before our turn to perform. okay whatever i know i deserved it yeah. oh and i had the mep performing audition. learnt two more new friends who are trying for mep as well and i think they're really nice people(: and talented too, of course. met zhenyi with kahsuan at century square for dinner and i think we had a nice time catching up with each other(:

i should really get my head into trying to learn how to improvise.

4th day of orientation was amazing race and it was the most un-rushed, relaxed and slacky amaznig race i've ever participated in. LOL i cannot believe we could still stop to buy bubble tea before we barely reached the mrt station. the games were fun on the overall but somehow i wished it would start pouring haha. :P the weather was cruelly scorching.

5th day of orientation - i could only remember myself screwing up the auditions in the afternoon and getting even more sunburnt from being exposed to the sun again.

thursday and friday are definitely the BEST days of the whole orientation period.:D dancing around the fountain of wealth in suntec definitely made me super high and crazy, jumping around like a madwoman. i screwed up the couple dance though :( kept having to look at other people to see what they were dancing before i could recall the steps LOL. nevertheless, laughing at my own stupidity was unmistakenably ENJOYABLE. it wasnt long before all of us got flooded and i mean literally so. we were drenched from head to toe by the unpredictable fountain. training around the fountain and slapping people's hands feeling like u're some celebrity was super fun too:D friday was no less awesome, we actually had a real-live pop concert right in our school hall haha it was like in a disco just that the disco ball wasnt there;) i learnt a new vocabulary from shannen: mosh. that is, to bang your head crazily in the air and jump hysterically with your fist punching above your head. haha, or that's what i assumed it meant. the entire hall was dark except the stage and almost everyone was jumping around madly. im a proud mad mosher:D oh and the best thing of all is that XEIA IS CHAMPION HOUSE! we actually bagged first prizes in the X photo competition, the Talent Night segment AND the OG performance! LOl im so proud of myself to actually be in the winning house! :D then cheered like mad and jumped around somemore. and i think i lost a bit of weight too haha;D oh ya and our shabuya cheer never fails to crack me up. i think the change of pitch from girls to guys is so DAMN HILARIOUS. :DDD

haha and im actually such an appreciative and grateful person that i actually cared to count my blessings! ;D i have seven nice ones so far. hahaha dont call me crazy.

i think my standard of writing has deteriorated like about 70%. :( just compare this post to one of my posts a year ago :( this post is totally incoherent.

THOU SHALL WORK HARD THIS YEAR, AND EVEN HARDER THE NEXT. THOU DO NOT WANT TO ACHIEVE LOUSY RESULTS LIKE WHAT THOU HAS GOTTEN FOR Os.

oh yes one more thing: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME HOW COOL IT IS TO TAKE MUSIC FOR A LEVELS:D

2010-01-31T09:02:00.012+08:00

VJC SCAMMED ME BY SAYING THEY WOULD OFFER MUSIC WHEN THEY DO NOT.

sacrifices, i believe, are part and parcel of the cruelty of life.

this time, im really making a huge sacrifice to feed my passion.

i know it will be worth it. i'll put in 200% to ensure i get an A for H2 music and a distinction for H3.

and i'll always be FOR VJ.
VJ POWER.:D

nothing you say can dissuade me from taking music. u can't tell me it's not worth it to study it. who are you to say so, anyway. let me tell you that Vj might be my dream, but music's an even bigger one. oh and speaking of this, the mep aptitude test was really difficult. i thought the test would only be half an hour but in the end it was 2 hours. !!! we also had to write an essay on bela bartok which im totally ??? about, and finish up about 6 bars of haydn's string quartet (following only 6 bars) ON OUR OWN.

do you really think i cant sense it when you're mistakenably angry with me? im not stupid, you know. i've had enough of your ridiculous and illogical over-sensitivity. just seriously cant understand what's in your head man. cant stand the way you over-complicate things when actly nothing is going on at all.

2010-01-25T21:29:00.005+08:00

today has been another really really fabulous day, i think it was even better than the picnic day on 1st jan hahaha. again, the gilas went out, and this time to safra tampines(:

i think what makes it so fulfilling and optimistic to know is that no matter what happens to us, the six of us will still be the very very best of friends, and no grudges will be held. true colours has really been a rewarding game, at least for me. not only did i learn more about myself, i also found out what the rest of the gilas have been thinking of me all this while. and it was enlightening in a very positive light. (: i think im the one with the hugest ego in our group lah. :P there seemed to be so little time for us to spend together! express-it guess-it was a very entertaining game also, especially with qianru being the main comedian there. LOL all of us were thrown off guard every time she performed (: *YOU~ THE APPLE OF MY EYE~~* haha seriously damn funny, im laughing while i type this! bowling at orchid bowl was fun too, even though my score was not in the least impressive :( ahaha but it was okay, me and cherlene totally got mixed up with our names and lanes, in the end we just anyhow played around with them :P heehee and joscelin you dont know how bad i feel for having to hope that your ball goes gutter, cos i seriously dont wanna be the last! LOL really sorry and i know you wont mind. (:

and yes, cherlene, i admit i was sad during the hug, but we will definitely meet each other again, soon and frequently! :DD seriously, i think this will be the most encouraging and driving factor that will push all of us through jc life and push us to greater heights, to attain even better results.(: haha at least for me, i know i really need to put in so much more effort and determination.

LOVE THE GILAS! you girls make my life so much more colourful, really.

sorry, but now i need to feed my obsession.(:

ahh~ im going to die already.

2010-01-24T13:12:00.002+08:00

he's still freaking sexy.

don't call me a sicko.

at least i gave him clothes to wear.

2010-01-24T12:20:00.002+08:00

weird, whenever i log into blogger i totally forget what i wanted to blog earlier on. haha anyway, yesterday i went clothes shopping for CNY with mum and eve, and i felt so bad cos like always, i spend more than necessary. bought two astriel tops and a polka dot design skirt. hahaha and eve bought a pretty green&brown number for only $11.70! and im the proud spotter of the amazing deal. :D can't wait for Chinese new year to come, this year's new year feels like its going to be the best new year of all my life, cos there's so little studying/ homework to worry about not doing. LOL. and its a bonus that Vday falls on 初一also, i can die waiting to watch Valentines' Day with the babes/gilas. HAHAHA i still think its a hilarious name.:D

yay yay im so glad everything just falls into place nicely, perfectly(:

memoirs of a geisha contains so much emotional stringing, i feel like i dont have enough capacity to take it all in. but it's still a very very good book, no matter.(:

2010-01-23T00:58:00.003+08:00

i'm really really happy for the way things turn out in the end for me, and i cant express it further than to say thankyou so much to the beloved 5 of you(: right now im feeling so inspired i totally feel like composing a piano ballad specially for you five:D

as far as im concerned, every minute of my time in 2010 has been spent and enjoyed very fruitfully. :D this year, many more things, than in the past, will stay private for me.

i think im really in love with taylor lautner. help!

2010-01-13T21:58:00.001+08:00

maybe it's better for you if you shutup, growup, and think twice about saying anything.

2010-01-11T23:18:00.003+08:00

alright, dont bother to ask me about my results. they're totally not impressive at all. i didn't manage to improve them from my preliminaries, though neither did they deteriorate.

im extremely pissed off with my english grade. seriously, i dont understand how i could have gotten a stupid b3 grade when i've been getting a1 all along. and those chinese scholars can actually manage to get a1s, cant understand what they do to get them! ugh, im so freaking pissed off, and on top of that, i felt like i seriously let mrs g down :( i really wish i could retake english, if that was possible, and i would be 75% sure i can do better than a b3. i know i cant do anything about my eng grade now, and it's quite mindless to keep mulling over it.

even though mum says my O level results reflect consistency and at least, my l1r5 beats getting some lousy number like above 10, i still feel i could have done better. not to mention my english, if one of my sciences had managed to scrape an a1, my name would totally be on the roll! and i'd get to stand in front of everybody and have them clap for me :D ahahaah yes, im desperate for people to clap :D seriously, i'd rather i get a1,a2,b3 for the three sciences instead of all a2s. at least my name would be on the roll!!! omg, the feelings of pride, joy and glory all bundled into one victorious feeling that i crave for so much :(

congrats to weiqian (you pro woman! :D), yujun, joscelin, cherilynn, zihuan, wayne, marc. i feel happy for all of you from the bottom of my heart :D

2010-01-07T23:28:00.002+08:00

under the request of qianru, i shall complete this quiz haha.

2009: In the beginning

Where did you bring in the New Year?: my house, watching the new year countdown on tv. haha it happens every year.
Who were you with?: My family
Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: er, no.
Did you make any resolutions?: yes, but didnt exactly fulfill all of them :( esp the reading on, i only read 15 books last year :(

2009: Your love life
Did you break up with anyone?: No. No relationships in the crucial year, please.
Did you get anything for Valentine’s day?: Of course, i was quite intrigued by black pepper and lemon chocolate too!
Did you meet anyone special?: hmm, not really.
Did you fall in love?: TL TL!:D

2009: Friends and enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year?: Definitely, at student camp:)
Did any of your friendships end?: I would guess.. fade off, not end?
Did you dislike anyone?: obviously..
Did you make any new enemies?: yes, definitely.
Did you resolve any fights?: IHAHA. the word fights sounds so childish. yes of course! resolvations are part and parcel of life, arent they...
Who was your closest friend?: Jos, Cher, Cheri, Jo, QR! :D we study, work and play together! :DD
Did you have a cake?: Quite many in fact, for different occasions LOL.
What did you do for your birthday?: This is easy. i had my O level higher music practical exam.
Did you have a party?: Nope, definitely not in the midst of O levels... :(
Did you get any presents?: duh.
If so what was the best thing you got?: haha of course the 2 dresses from the girls.

2009: All about you
Did you change at all this year?: Character-wise, definitely.
Did you dye your hair?: wanted to after O levels but decided that it was too expensive D:
Did you get your hair cut?: Yea, twice haha.
Did you change your style?: By about 90degrees.
Were you in school?: spent a great deal of time in there with stupid emotional spurts.
Did you get good grades?: They only picked up the last half of the year, but i could have done better.
Did you have a job?: Yup! Data entry! type type type:D
Do you drive?: i wish i could! but this year the driving age has been upped to 21 D:
Did you own a car?: Nope.
Did anyone close to you give birth?: Ditto.
Did you move at all?: Didnt move house, but otherwise, what an unneccessary question.
Did you go on any vacations? HAHA THE GREAT BIG BANGKOK SHOPPING TRIP!
Would you change anything about yourself now? yea, i desperately want better skin! D:

2009: Wrap up
Is 2009 a good year?: Yes, on the overall.
Was it a naughty year? i guess not.
Did 2009 bring any new insights?: YES OF COURSE. i learnt so, so much last year.
Do you think 2010 will top 2009?: yupp, i've a positive feeling about this year being so much better for me, being in a new environment, meeting new people, feeling comfortable about being just myself...

_____________________________________________

2010-01-02T13:14:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! (:

yesterday's picnic and ice-skating was fantabulous! haha i totally love the photos we took even though they are not all perfect LOL! haha and i wont forget these group of besties manz! gonna upload my photos on facebook as well but the system is kind of slow and it's making me really impatient haha. i honestly enjoyed the evening's confessions with you girls! glad i got THAT off my chest haha.

going to cafe cartel (yvonne's workplace) with mabel, shurui and liling tmr to celebrate mabel's birthday which is supposed to be next saturday. haha, i havent seen them since the end of O levels.

feel like saying something i shouldnt, but i'll keep it in myself for a while first.

2009-12-27T11:53:00.002+08:00

oh man, i feel so bad for not blogging for so long.. :( haha the recent numerous events have made me really heady! :D

prom was a fabulous event, i couldnt' imagine it being any better (excluding the not-up-to-standard entertainment), haha. i loved the atmosphere! everyone was so well-dressed and different, enthusiastic about taking photos, paying compliments etc. time seemed to fly past so quickly, and that was sad. and unfortunately i was half an hour late too due to work, so that gave me even less time to take photos and gaze around at the crowd :( i only took 100 photos in total, could have taken more if i came earlier ugh. but i still felt that $76 was a tad too high a price to pay..

i think work has just gotten better and better working with joscelin! :D hahaha we even completed 270 entries on wednesday! yay yay i feel we're so amazing:D and no, i don't think there's any form of conflict between us :p

realised i havent mentioned about my overseas trip this time. haha i went to bangkok this nov 09 for shopping, and only SHOPPING! haha i think platinum mall is seriously a GREAT GREAT GREAT place to shop manz! it's something like bugis street just that it's air-conditioned, has 7 stories including a damn big food court upstairs and the apparels are so much more presentable and inexpensive:D the plus point is that it's just next to the hotel we lodged in, so that made shopping a lot more convenient(: i will definitely recommend this mall for crazy shoppies LOL. the varieties are unlimited too. and don't worry about having not enough things to see cos one level will already take you 3 full hours. i wish i could go back there again!!

the next thing that is worthy of praise & recommendation about bangkok is the body massage. it was my first time going for a massage and i have to say it's really shiok! HAHAHA, really felt great after it. the most comfortable was the hamstring press, most itchy was front thigh and most painful was back-pounding :O haha the rest was fine. i think the girl who did the massage for me was so pretty! :D hha i wanted to take a photo with her but mum didn't allow :(

ok now for the not-so-nice part of bangkok city. the TRAFFIC. it's really bad, there are jams everywhere almost throughout the whole day! D: and the taxi drivers are also quite uncouth. if they hear that the place you're going would cause them to be stuck in a jam, they'll actually refuse you and drive off. mum says in sg if a taxi driver does that to you, you can actually lodge a complaint against them. the only thing you can do to persuade them to fetch you is to give them a nice monetary offer. which is usually around $8. and not to mention the amount of air pollution there is in the city, ugh! the tuktuks really do leave a black trail of soot air behind them. yup, that's just about all of the unpleasant stuff in bangkok!

应该到时候用华文抒写了。哈哈，我到现在觉得写华文字还是有点怪怪的。:P 上个星期天我和小学同班同学去了marina barage 吃野餐`放风筝。虽然我因为有钢琴班而只能陪他们两小时（真是遗憾！），但我还是觉得非常庆幸能与他们分享美好时光:D 多亏eileen 想到了这个好主意，而manfung不遗余力地招人来参加，才会有这么好的反映(: 那天天气也非常好，没有下雨。

this year for xmas my family (5 of us) had 3 dinners altogether :P 1st was on 23rd, at ritz carlton hotel. 2nd was on xmas eve, at waraku katong. the set was so filling i couldn't finish my beef stew :P i love the teriyaki chicken pizza! omg so tasty:D yay but the yuki white wine was seriously bad haha. maybe i should have taken red wine instead. 3rd dinner was at earle swensens at terminal 3. haha it was kind of a last min decision. i had jumbo chicken frank, and it was humongous. :P the wedges were nice though.

xmas day this year was fun, i started off the day at church. haha it was my first time in church on xmas day, and when reverend low asked for newcomers viven totally took my hand and raised it high! :\ so paiseh, made everyone clap for me :P haha lol i think i went red immediately. but the people at church were really nice, they were so welcoming and their well-wishes were so sincere. :) even those people i didnt know before talked to me like we were old friends. singspiration of xmas carols were nice and spiritually uplifting too, i think the drummer plays the drums really well! :D was kind of amazed the way his hands coordinated haha. after that i had lunch with vivien at spaggeddies in bedok haha. was actually my first time trying that restaurant. i was also shocked to find how empty it was D: there was only one more family besides us in the restaurant! i ordered baked penne and she ordered spagghetti with ham & sausage. couldnt finish the sauce manz, it was so filling! and im gonna become a big fat pig in no time D: anyway, we talked for a while and then parted, cos she had to join her cell group in some more crazy activities they had :P i then went to buy the pair of flats in modo paulo i've been eyeing haha. couldnt take the temptation already, so i just treated it as my xmas present to myself + the reward to myself for work! :D

had a family buffet at home yesterday! it was quite fun playing cards with eve and the girls :D especially Jack. haha i was so used to playing mosquito without hitting the Jack card that i kept missing out on them. :P i lost the first round :( haha second round wasn't even finished lah. so that sort of made me the laggest. D: LOL but i think we played until very crazy. bridge was damn hilarious too, made me feel so stupid. clarice was so FUNNNY! yea yea, im sneaky, eve's scheming.:D the best part was the pinnata, i didn't expect it to involve everyone lol. it's those kind of large animal you hang to the ceiling in a party, and someone gets blindfolded and has to hit it LOL. but we didn't do the blindfolding haha, everyone had a shot at it starting from the oldest. we were so afraid something would happen when 10th uncle was having his shot at it. turned out he was only acting :p mum used alot of force causing a loud bang HAHA. but the best was meng meng gu, she hit the santa until the head tore off from the neck WAHAHA. it was damn hilarious, i think i laughed until i got drunk. oh yeah, i had a glass of white long flat and it was so NICE, didn't have chance to have a second helping cos it was so popular! then after that cousin nora made a concoction of beer and fruit punch, it actually tasted nice:D but candice was being so nice to say that it actually looked like vomit HAHA. yes, totally influenced our mood to drink. :p

haven't been posting up photos here because they're all on facebook:P haha, i find fb photo albums really convenient to use!

THIS YEAR HAS TOTALLY BEEN AN AWESOME YEAR:D HAPPY NEW YEAR, HUNKS & BABES! :DDD

2009-12-13T00:49:00.002+08:00

sadly, i've been blogging less and less often now cos facebook is just too convenient to use. i'll try my best, though! it doesn't help with the fact that my blog is so dead either...

work has been great so far even though on friday we were wrongly accused by the boss's daughter about some trivial stuff. haha first time i saw joscelin lose her cool. but it was made up by the constant laughing till our stomachs ached. shall try to talk more to ahem on facebook tmr night LOL.we shall laugh our heads off again on monday! :D :D

violin lessons are manageable and enjoyable so far, just that during the full bow movements my fingers sometimes slip out of position haha. the pressing of strings and changing strings are okay for me (: the teacher is very friendly too! i love it when she says i learn very quickly WAHHAHA. lol, 45 mins seem a bit too short for a lesson!

got a date with the girls again on New Year's Day! this time we're going to marina baraage to have a picnic/kite-flying session and then ice-skating at kalling afterwards! cant wait hahaha my first time doing these three things:D

right now i cant wait for christmas and new year, where all the celebrations are on. this year shall end off on high spirits(:

2009-12-08T14:25:00.002+08:00

omg, im so bored. i came back from a job interview at hei sushi with qianru just now, really hope i'll be selected. at least it beat slacking around at home, alternating between playing piano,violin,yangqin, reading novels, watching tv...

oh my god cherlene just called to tell me that her company is offering data entry as a job opportunity!! ah!!! THANKS A MILLION CHERLENE!!! :D :D omg omg. i'll be starting work tmr. cant wait cant wait! haha i obviously cant contain my excitement! i shall go choose my clothes for tmr now hahahaha!

2009-12-07T22:52:00.002+08:00

i really dont know what to comment on my life right now. i'm like sailing in a little boat in the deep blue sea roaming around without any direction. everyday, day in day out, i'm looking for jobs on jobstreet, making enquiry calls, going for interviews/training, but without any result. i guess i really decided to find a job too late. all of them are snapped up long ago. i really do want a job and i need the experience badly. all those jobs out there look for so many qualifications and years of experience, of which i can't identify with.

今天面试完后，陪了妹妹去淡滨尼广场看新出的电影New Moon. 电影的结尾好烂哦！虽然书本读起来的确有点拖泥带水，但我认为电影漏掉的细节简直太多太多了！因此，看书还是比较划算，不管是时间上或金钱上。哈哈。我甚至认为在考完O水准考试后陪大姐看的那部jennifer's body还比较好看呢。虽然那部有点垃圾样。其实，那是我看的第一部NC16的电影，呵呵。。。

lol i know this is so weird, blogging in english and chinese at the same time. but i shall try my best to keep myself as bilingual as possible, although chinese is definitely my weaker linguistic medium. and i dont think i'll be studying chinese any more in jc, so all the more i should put in effort to maintain my embarassing level of proficiency. even though i really rejoice over the fact that i don't have to write another stupid lengthy 报章报道... hahaha.

shall post at least three sentences of chinese everyday!

2009-12-06T00:45:00.003+08:00

我到底哪一点比不上你？？？

烦死了，我这次真的受不了了。你整天以为自己很厉害，从来都没看过你撕掉你那一副讨人厌`自以为是的样子。向你发简讯你都不懂的怎么答复我，真不知是你是自私，在对我摆出目中无人的模样，还是自己不够脑。你从来都没有想过我所给过你的一切，尤其是两年前的事！还有，在这三年里，你不知你在我身上的到的福利是多大的！由你做伴，对我简直是一种侮辱。

我相信我的毅力与工作态度肯定胜过你。我将来一定比你有出息，一定比你更出人头地！！！

有时，我真的认为上帝对我是不公平的。也许我应该，祷告，多祷告，再祷告。

seriously can't wait to get into junior college. im trying my best to be a better person, but there wont be any results if you dont change your impression of me. this, at times, really does make me cry.

2009-12-03T00:13:00.001+08:00

honestly. i cant believe im still playing this.

99 words

Typing Test

2009-11-18T00:35:00.018+08:00

2009-11-16T17:18:00.015+08:00

i was feeling very pissed off just now, and the anger burst out through me via tears. my eyes are red and my mum thinks i've got an eye infection from wearing contacts -.- stupid, she blames everything on my contacts, she even blamed my misreading some sign on them, say i donno how to wear. what the shit.

anyway i have no idea why but suddenly all the bad thoughts from the past just poured into my head, making them really uncontrollable. im trying my best not to cry whenever im feeling upset/stressed but i just cant stifle the feeling. besides, i always feel much better after letting it out. sure, the Os are over, but somehow i dont get the 如释重负 kind of feeling. haiz. oh who cares, im just going to post pictures now. LONG OVERDUE.

blurred

this was at goodwood park hotel, celebrating dajie's and my birthday over teppanyaki. it was worth the $90 per person. the chef was DAMN SHUAI lol! just look at the attractive veins on his arms:D

piggy!

piggy wants eve!

eve wants piggy!

LOL

cool:D

french toast, at hongkong cafe.

visit to anchorage, my parents' second condo. junior room

2nd view of junior room

toilet

2nd view of toilet

living room!

hall

2nd view of living room

3rd view

dining room

kitchen!

fridge!

stove!

intercomm in the house. its for security reasons.:)

2nd view of intercomm

dressing table in master bedroom master bedroom toilet

master bedroom toilet mirror

master bedroom bathtub

master bedroom. thats eve!

1st view (left) from balcony

2nd view (right) from balcony

3rd view (down) from balcony

master bedroom again

dressing table again

ikea on the opposite side of the road! thats what i ate for lunch:D

counter!

more views

i still love the trolley. how innovative!

i took so many of these chinese 补身 things before the O levels.

our batch's collage!

pondering over what to eat at japanese restaurant tampopo (liang court)

my toes and da jie's toes. it got us cracking up! :D

to eve.

deciding what to eat at din tai fung.

eve is really short-sighted.

me and xiaolongbaos!

eve hugging her dumbo to sleep. looks hilarious!

cherilynn getting really excited over the soft toys at taka!

more fooling around...

on very long escalator at ion.

kind old lady selling drinks at the food opera in ion orchard, who pushed her drink cart over when she saw us almost dying of thirst!

how contrasting. lol.

jos looks so cute here!

i love the chandeliers and deco of the food court manz.

food opera.

CLIQUE BADGES! LOVE THEM!!

if you noticed the time, it was 8.05pm. we hanged out till then.

pacific dory at The Manhatten.

me and fish!

cherilynn and i! im still feeling so happy for her, haha!

i need anasthesia.

2009-11-06T20:16:00.002+08:00

haha i feel like o levels are over when i still have one more week to go.

all the papers so far were alright, manageable. i really hope hope hope for at least 6A1s. please please please god. so far the paper im most worried and scared about is, surprisingly, english.

facebook is making me so addicted. lol i've gone back to being a child.

havent really decided if i should work after O levels, even so i dont know what to work as. i definitely dont want to go into fast food restaurants/food service.

i havent given up blogging, lah. i'll start blogging vigorously again once the Os are over(:

looking forward to prom nite! :D

2009-09-26T12:26:00.003+08:00

i went to watch the mooncake festival performance in school yesterday. this year's performance was really entertaining i must say, at least much better than the previous years. i thought it would be held in the hall, but it was instead held in the HOT parade square that darkened into the evening. anyway, aijia and shawn tok performed for us and i was quite affected by the lousy mike system that didnt do justice to their performance at all. the sec ones performed some dizi pieces for us and even though their pitching was bad, its worthy of congratulation since they are barely thirteen year olds and they just started learning this year. ah, im still jealous over the fact that they get to learn such a wonderful new skill. we didnt even get the chance to learn anything during sec one, in fact i dont even remember doing anything except watching the Sound of Music. last highlight of the night's performance was dr boon singing 月亮代表我的心. i thought it would just be screwed up but that was surprisingly quite nice, miss khoo could do nice harmony(: we yelled for an encore, but didnt get a response, lol:D the only thing that disrupted our enthusiasm was the extremely irresponsible actions of some teachers -- shant say who here -- that really turned liling and i off. i mean, please dont give us permission to sit on the seats for teachers if you know that we are not supposed to. you really caused us much agony in having to bear the unpleasantness of explaining to different teachers why were we sitting on the benches, and causing us much accusation uncalled-for. do you think you are a joker or what?

"既然已经是中四了，那就自动一点可以吗"
wa biang totally felt like giving her a punch in the stomach causing her a hilarious miscarriage lah.

"Wan yee, it's ok for them to sit here, so long as they promise to become teachers in Ahs next time"
SHUT UP, you effing idiot. who wants to work in this school with such undiscerning and unreasonable teachers who dont even want to open up their ears to LISTEN to students. you know thats why sometimes i think i really made a mistake in choosing this school. even tkgs might be a better choice lah.

oh man, im getting so tensed up over the O level music and higher music practicals this coming thurs and fri. even though i've learnt the pieces until they're like part of me, i still get the jitters and sudden surge of adrenaline whenever i think of it. haiz, i think the best birthday present joscelin can give me this year is just to play well for the duet...

dora chan, you dont have time to waste. last month to Os, and you better grasp it tight.

2009-09-17T21:06:00.003+08:00

wah. i think i cant tolerate this any further man. im going to burst. liling, i totally share your feelings of bushuang-ness. even though its hilarious.

and how do you expect me to be nice to you when you dont even want to tell me anything. cant stand it man. i dont even feel that i have any respect from you! i tell you so much, but all you do is IGNORE me. wth. im doing so much, and what you all repay me with is IGNORANCE. and im trying to put in so much effort for our _, yet you dont care a shit. i donno whats in your brain, its the _!! its either you have a problem with your prioritisation or that you simply have a thick head. sometimes i think, what kind of a friend are you man.

okay i totally feel like a stupid childish kid complaining. shall throw these thoughts out of my head as soon as i finish with this post.

on a more positive note, i cant wait for tmr when we are going to simei block 128 to do CIP, collect newspapers and old stuff from the residents living there haha. i think it sounds so fun!

wish me good luck in a day of the life of a guna guni tomorrow! :D

2009-09-14T16:11:00.002+08:00

i dont know why, but today on the way to school i felt so happy, like it was my birthday. hahaha, weird, but it is and feels good:D the bad results didnt seem to affect me, but i still want the motivation and drive to really hit my books hard.

ok what's all this incoherent rubbish.

2009-09-09T15:16:00.011+08:00

these are the hamsters in the cage that my dajie got from her colleagues!

hotdog etiquette, lol. five of us lovelies went to superdog on monday to mug too! and we ended up taking neoprints as well XD

look at the slide that links the first and second floor of the cage:D

me and reyanna!

reyanna at 2!

so cute!

side view

mabely!

poem i wrote for zhenyi for her birthday today! haha hopes she likes it!

sharmaine and i!

zihuan!

snap 2.

posing! sorry, i look quite stupid.

mabel and sharmaine!

phoebe and sharmaine!

im on the top of the spider's web! and it was the first time i climbed it :D

again, on the top.

me on the bike! yay!

i think i was losing balance..

horses in pasir ris park??

lol, my happy meal in a box.

haha eve study until so pek chek.

2009-09-05T13:58:00.003+08:00

i have been spending way too much time on facebook man.

the end of prelims do not seem much of a difference to me, and i think its the same for the rest of the sec fours, because we still must continue studying like mad until november 13, when freedom sets in. but that would mark the end of our secondary school life in ahs, which is really so sad to think about. this year, im sure, many would agree that this year is one that experiences are plentiful.

yesterday, the six of us - yvonne, mabel, liling, zihuan, sharmaine, phoebe and i went cycling after the last prelim paper. and i totally deserve a medal or something for learning how to cycle in 45 mins! lol, it was really difficult at first. and there was this group of neighbourhood secondary juveniles who kept staring at me when i was struggling to learn how to ride. suckers man. then when this ah lian from the group walked past, she still try and act cool and blow her smoke at us. it was totally immature, and the way she blew her smoke looked so stupid. anyway, i really must thank yvonne for helping me so patiently. then we cycled from tampines all the way to pasir ris park to play at the playgrounds. haha i know it sounds really childish, but i guess its okay for me since the last time i went to a playground was when i was around p4/5. it was really fun working out albeit tiring and i think i really must get up and do some exercise. now my butt hurts so badly, the skin on my thumbs are torn and red because i gripped the bike handles too tightly, my legs are decorated with long red scratch marks and blood spots because of the rough bike pads and chains. but its worth it all, i guess to gain some skill you have to sacrifice some things or put yourself to some risks. and i learnt that confidence plays a very big part in our lives. really.

okay, i think my hua chi has died down about 80% already. yay! but i still think he's so good-looking:D

back to facebook.

2009-09-02T20:22:00.005+08:00

some more photos! :D

the more candid ones are all on facebook, though. there are loads. :D

very sorry friends, but stupid, 发花痴 me is still at it.
y'know, i'd really liked another gathering. :D

2009-09-01T11:22:00.000+08:00

omg, i just cant get over my prized possession!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2009-08-31T21:37:00.009+08:00

primary 6/1 gathering was awesome:D i realise that i enjoy the company of my primary school friends quite much more than my secondary school friends. but then i guess its because a change always works out good for the majority of us(:
ex-class photo! haha, cant believe we're all sec 4 already!

tian hua and the tripod stand he has with him 24 hours a day, lol.

amaryllis! :D

Husna! she looks really gorgeous, and im not exaggerating.

(blurred)

Mr Ng!

shit, i look stupid in this.

OMG I CANT BELIEVE I'VE SAT NEXT TO HIM THROUGHOUT P4 P5 AND P6! HE'S SO GOOD LOOKING! and i love his build, his veins show ahh:] to think i got so excited over him hahaha:DDD omg its so difficult to describe this feeling! pfft, just requesting to take a photo with him doesnt mean anything really -.-

hmm.
ACTUALLY, IT DOES. :D

my heart melted 40% when he smiled and said okay in his __ voice after i asked can i take photo with you okay!! i had to 鼓起so much 勇气 just to ask that question!! ahh!

chantal's gonna be so jealous, really.

sorry, i know my behaviour during tuition was totally out of this world. sorry zhenyi, sorry wanrong, sorry celine, sorry mr ng for causing such a din. omg. haha i realise it takes so much energy, blood pressure and adrenaline to like something, cos im so tired now.

TODAY IS 发花痴DAY FOR ME. TOTALLY.

2009-08-31T21:04:00.011+08:00

outside a japanese tower in osaka. i was sec 2 then.

eve! so cute! chinese dance:D

love this class collage.

da jie! :D sorry, im a bad photographer.

dry ice

dessert with dry ice:D

wonderful sticky, collagen-y bowl of sharks fin!

concert band playing a fanfare.

sea of red and white. love it.

Tree planting -.-

march in! :DDD

sorry to say but pathetic trees we got planted.

nice national day banner!

thanks angela for sharing with the many of us.:D

see what qianru does to her prata plate, lol. i should try to stay happier like her, really.

me and angela!

haha sorry unready.

me and my 同桌 :D

KFC

i can see my reflection in the tunnel! hahaXP

empty mrt when i went home after mugging with qianru n jos.

killer heel at topshop. HOT.

funny masks outside food opera :P

long escalators that make you seem like u're in outer space :O

walking ads!

nice wall quote!

some brand called sepho-something :\

Valentino. love the numbers.

Louis Vuitton. they even had a bellboy at the door! :D

architecture of ion:)

entrance, louis vuitton.

Shopping statures outside ion orchard!

haha i was afraid i never had a chance to take photo of this again.

durians. hate them man. stinky fellows.

2009-08-21T13:11:00.010+08:00

2009-08-19T22:36:00.001+08:00

tomorrow's prelims and im still having so many apprehensions in my heart.

NO WAY, YOU DORA CHAN. MIND OVER HEART!

2009-08-13T12:55:00.002+08:00

when am i going to get out of this emotional state that i am in right now.

i know that i spend far too much time reflecting and thinking of what i've done, and what i should or shouldnt have done. i know i should seriously stop it and spend more time looking forward and moving on, but i cant. Time and time again, my past just grabs me round the neck and strangles me so hard that i find it difficult to breathe, difficult to walk on.

i think i may just need some counselling from coach daniel.

:(

2009-08-11T22:09:00.002+08:00

had a really bad day today. i dont know why my mood can rock like some titanic. seriously, and i think im getting mentally retarded. the seriousness of things do not get registered in my brain until hours later. i dont know what is happening to me.

and one thing i also cannot figure out is that i am only articulate in my blog. i cannot effectively express my feelings outside, when im face to face with people. i can only express my innermost feelings through writing, like through blogging here. am i becoming a total introvert? i think i may need some counselling therapy. =X

oh well. my blog will surely be found out someday, and im in no control of that especially since i dont want to privatise my blog again. but i really dont like it when people dont respect my privacy. some things said are just not meant for you to know.

by the way, if you found out my blog from my mouth straight, you can be damn sure that you are a very treasured friend of mine. but if you got it through word of mouth, you know where your status stands.
(:

2009-08-04T19:22:00.004+08:00

they always say
time heals all wounds

yes, it used to be true
most of the time

but now,
it does not seem true anymore.

i think i've understood the difficulty of life itself.
and for that i sincerely thank the people around me who have tried to make my life better(:

oh, and harry potter 6 was great. when did draco malfoy become so good-looking all of a sudden? lol.

i'd love to say avacadavra at you, even though its an unforgivable curse.

2009-08-01T22:29:00.006+08:00

yesterday's events have really left me feeling alone and lost. i find myself thinking so much after yesterday. although i know its really no due time for me to be thinking so much now, i cant help but cry over the unfairness of life, and the cruelty of human nature. i feel exactly like i was being discriminated upon.

i wasnt unhappy or upset about getting punished. in fact, i fully understood that i should be punished and thus i graciously accepted the punishment. what made me exacerbated till the extremity of tears was not because my stuff got confiscated. truthfully, i was extremely outraged and maddened by the words this idiotic teacher has used at my classmate. how could he call j an "educational failure" and that she "wasted her four years in the school"?! and he did not even give us a chance to explain ourselves. even if he did, he ignored us and only concentrated on our offences and punishment. tmt is a fucking bastard who abuses his authority by humiliating, torturing and demoralising students. THIS was what made my tears flow. i couldnt accept his unreasonability at all. and what worsened the situation is the fact that i have friends who take too much initiative, TOO MUCH. do you think i dont even have the capability to claim my things back MYSELF?

and i really have to thank liling for accompanying me throughout recess, and even accompanying me in crying over the imperfections of life.

the worst has yet to be mentioned. when i returned to class, i think everyone thought i cried because my stuff has been confiscated.
go to hell people.
please hear the whole story before you come to any conclusions.

how now am i supposed to get my things back from tmt. whenever i see him, i get so angry that either a)my tears start pouring, or b)i get this gut feeling of punching him HARD in the nose.

when will anyone understand my true feelings?
when will they understand things, from my point of view?
when will my reflections show, who i am, inside?

i crave for someone to fully empathise with me.
just someONE.

2009-07-31T00:34:00.003+08:00

school is really exhausting and i can emphasise it no further. i think what all of us really need durnig this period is peace within our hearts. the past week has never been a peaceful week.

i never thought i could overcome this so easily. well, it wasnt that easy also, considering that i took (and wasted) a full 3 days mourning over the fact that i didnt get into vj through dsa, feeling so dejected and all. as i look back on the previous week, yes, many things have happened, i've experienced so many new feelings, so many new edges of awkwardness, but all that matters is that i've come out stronger. i have since overcome it and im feeling even more determined than never before. besides, papa has told me that what i only need to do now is to focus more and more on my studies and nothing else at all, because at the end of the day, i will ultimately enjoy what i've reaped. i will never forget him telling me, also, to be more generous towards others and give as much as i feel appropriate.

you know, i actually thank god for having such a encouraging father and one who really trusts me (:

dear friends, i will let you know of my new found blog some day.

lord, give me strength.

2009-07-29T08:42:00.002+08:00

this world is such a difficult world and i often feel that im a terrible poor victim of this. i've tried to be kind, i've tried to lend my friends things, but they dont seem to appreciate it and instead, dont even care about the welfare of the items i lend them. not that they even care about MY welfare.

that's why qianru's such a great friend of mine.

nowadays i find myself questioning myself more and more.
why am i giving people a thousand times more than what i receive?

i am lost.

2009-07-24T19:53:00.002+08:00

"Don't let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want."

-Ashley Tisdale

I'll remember this.

2009-07-20T08:27:00.002+08:00

okay i guess school has been slightly better for me, at least i am getting used to the flow of waking up early. and i think there's like so little time left to the Os and that's making me really tensed up.

have been watching harry potters on channel 5 during the weekends for the past three weeks. that has made me feel REALLY guilty. but its damn nice!! i especially liked goblet of fire(: haha just watched it yesterday so its still fresh in my mind. and i went to take this quiz on facebook that defines which harry potter character you are most like and i got Cho Chang. LOL. that's quite nice, haha.

ohmani'vegotthisfeelingbeforeandnowi'vegotitagainbutthistimeitsreallystrongandireallyreallywantsomerecognitioneventhoughitsnotreallygoodinawaybutithinkideserveatleastsomethanksfromyoudon'tyouthinksopleasedontbesoarrogantandungratefulthankyouverymuch.

2009-07-17T17:54:00.004+08:00

pictures from chinese new year! :D

2009-07-16T17:31:00.003+08:00

omg school is giving me some REAL torture. there are just more and more pieces of homework piling on. and when input > output, there's definitely bound to be stress. not that im inefficient. (well, to some extent yes, especially when i have to stay in school until 4+ from tues to thurs.) the school is senseless. they should pick out those who really need some disciplining and make them stay back instead of the whole cohort. the damn supp lessons are tiring everyone out and its not like they are minusing the homeworks and tests. well tests i dont actually mind, but homework is irritating. i think im yearning for jc more and more.

was in quite a foul mood for almost half of yesterday. maybe some people really need to face the wall and reflect on themselves. stop criticising and being so 吹毛求疵 about other people's work. if you think you're so good, you might as well do it yourself and see whose idea is dumb. i think i really have this burning urge to run you over with a bulldozer. anyway, im sorry for my black face yesterday.

thank god tomorrow's friday. i desperately need a weekend to catch up some sleep. i didnt even get to sleep more than seven hours any day this whole week. :(

happy birthday eileen my dear girl. :D you'll be my best friend forever. :D

2009-07-08T22:46:00.003+08:00

doodeedoodeedoo.
supp lessons are really tiring me out. i think im seriously seriously 10 times more efficient and less stressed when i dont have to go to school. and i cant tolerate chinese lessons really. i will REALLY WANT TO SLEEP!

oh and i learnt something from liling today HAHA. the human body has 4 stages of sleeping. first stage: half asleep, eg, when you are sleeping in class. HUR HUR JOSCELIN. second stage: deep sleep, eg, when you are in bed at night. third stage: your body is preparing itself for the next day's activities. fourth stage: since your body has nothing to do already, it triggers the mind to form DREAMS. yeah, that's prolly how i get all my dreams. my body moves through the sleeping stages too fast already. LOL.

and it's really not a nice feeling to get rejected just on the, what, 3rd day of school. even though i was rejected in a nice and smile-smile kinda way, it still doesnt feel good. haiz, maybe im just not used to getting REJECTED. yea, sin x = positive does not happen in 3rd & 4th quadrant, so must N/A. haiz ok whatever. THANK YOU ADA MY DEAR GIRL. im so indebted to her.

heal the world is still ringing in my head and it cant stop! help!

2009-07-06T18:03:00.002+08:00

shit. yesterday i cried in my dreams again. but i stopped crying when i woke up. i dreamt that i was back in my primary school having lessons, and then suddenly a long-lost friend of mine came up to me and gave me a handmade card. i cried because i was so touched. SO touched. omg, where am i going to.

2009-07-05T20:07:00.005+08:00

ohmygod, i think the more i read about michael jackson, watch his concerts, performances and hear his songs, the sadder and sadder i feel. im slowly but exponentially losing the impression of him being quite crazy in the way he uses plastic surgery and i feel like i can understand why he has become such a legend.

when he is performing, people are crying because they are so touched and happy to see him perform, so moved by his voice. i saw him performing Heal the World today in front of hundreds of thousands of people, and i thought, isnt that the song i REALLY LOVED to sing in primary school?

I DIDNT BELIEVE IT WAS SUNG BY HIM !!

omg, it totally brings back the memories. ahhhhh im really feeling sad now.

"Heal The World"

There's A Place In Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place
CouldBe Much Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need To Cry
In This Place
You'll Feel There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways To Get There
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong It Only Cares For Joyful Giving
If We Try We Shall See In This Bliss We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread We Stop Existing And Start Living
Then It Feels That Always Love's Enough ForUs Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World WeOnce Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep Strangling Life
Wound This Earth Crucify Its Soul Though It's Plain
To SeeThis World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart I Feel You Are All My Brothers
Create A World With No Fear
Together We'll Cry Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn Their Swords Into Plowshares
We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

there Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

heal the world (You and for me)
Save it for our children (You And For Me)
heal the world
save it for our children

i think his songs really has a lot of meaning(: we should really learn them well. the lessons. i cant stop singing it now lol. i think the words will ring forever.

and i am still having stupid dreams. i even cried in my dream yesterday.. dreamt that i was being ostracised. BY MY FAMILY. when i woke up my face and pillow was wet. said a prayer immediately. and the previous day (saturday) i dreamt of weiqian, i dreamt that she took my hand and walked me down a very very steep and rough road. lol yep weiqian, i missyou! haha. and i also cant believe that i saw vanessa at joo chiat cc where i have my piano lessons. omg she was doing some mediacorp recording for channel 8, its those sunday morning kids show. i also saw a mediacorp actress, think her name is cassandra see or something like that. vanessa is my student camp group leader btw(: she was the one who recognised me haha, i couldnt recognise her in heavy make-up and a dress haha. she's too pretty already. she reminds me of my dajie:P

2009-07-03T22:04:00.001+08:00

2009-07-03T20:41:00.005+08:00

im feeling quite exhausted after three days of continuous studying the whole day with cherlene, joscelin, joanne and qianru. i need STRENGH!! urgh! :\

feel like posting pictures:D

cherlene so tired that she took a nap today.

haha joscelin is enjoying her lemons! haha candid shot. we went to 18chefs to eat on the 2nd day of study. IT WAS SO FUN I LOVED IT. the only sad thing is that cherilynn is not there to join us D:

look at the amount of cheese qianru used to "spice up" her baked rice. :O

they changed the lemon tea glass!

eating voraciously.

joscelin PULLING her cheese haha she is really enjoying it.

look at our wonderful school (LOL) , centre of excellence for sports (truly). haha ok never mind yall donno what im talking. and the host for Fiba 3 on 3 basketball for the 1st Asian Youth Games! so honoured yeah and im so looking forward to watching the match (i think its semi-finals) tomorrow YAY YAY YAY. eve wants to go too i suggested to her to wear my school uniform hahaha. but sadly i only have 5 silver buttons LOL.

joanne's KAWAII card that we handmade for her omgosh its so nice i totally want it. haha

steamboat at leejing's house! omg i sort of pity mandy haha SEXY.

overflow of food that we couldnt finish up. YEA WE ARE ALL SCARED OF BALLS NOW.

and i freakingly need venus to sing for me OMG. please ah venus/

i just learnt today that my mum, of all people, has a tongue of uncouthness, vulgarity and crudity. actually i did not just learn it today; i merely refused to accept so. can you imagine, a daughter telling her mum not to spout vulgarities. precisely, 本末倒置.

i will learn from her by not picking up her many bad and disgusting habits.

2009-07-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

now im really thinking that i need and want some discipline and stamina. just these two. please help me.

2009-06-29T21:19:00.005+08:00

the first day of school after a long, long time.

well i suppose it has been okay, although i really felt that i would have been so much more efficient at home, without all the chit chatterings of my classmates. to be honest, the noise can be a little too frustrating at times. the day has made me feel suddenly uptight about the upcoming exams. and it doesnt feel exactly good. all i can say is just that school has made life really quite boring for me and i can really feel the pressure creeping up on me like some ghost. i guess the best thing about school now is recess and the canteen food. haha, i seriously missed it. but sadly, there are only 3 stalls opened today. :( oh and i think im going to be unable to tolerate wearing the uniform sooner or later. its very uncomfortable and warm. oh well. just another half a year more. easier said than done. haizz.

oh, and i sally-hensoned my nails just now already. haha, i got commented on my nails by so many people today, including the new music teacher Mrs Sng -Foo. oops. so dont the many of u keep harping on them already, okay haha. bye bye pink, not gonna see you for a long time. well at least not until the O levels are over. and bye bye miss lee:)

i was browsing through the files in my thumbdrive and i found this essay that i wrote last year for some competition that mrs yeo made me join in. haha, i totally agree with the argument points man.(duh, it was written by yours truly.) and in fact it still does apply to what i have in mind now. i shall post it, but please dont mind the lack of vocabulary. thankyou(:

The Environment and Me

Dora Chan, 15 july 2008

The environment. What exactly is the environment? Previously, science and geography teachers have been preaching to us that the environment comprises of the physical and man-made environment. Physical simply means Mother Nature, and man-made simply means the architecture constructed all around us in the present, modern industrialised world. The dictionary defines it as the surrounding objects or conditions. However, I feel that the environment refers also to the people and the events that are happening around us. I call it the psychological environment. The environment has to consist of people. What would the environment even exist as without any living being? If it were not for us people, our environment would be the equivalent of a ghost town. If it were not for us people, there would not be so many environmental issues worth discussing. If it were not for some people, my life could never even have been this way.

The people in my environment make it a very extremely competitive one. Not only am I referring to the present, but also to my past and future as well. Ever since nursery, when I was only a little toddler, unaware of, innocent and so vulnerable to the ugly world that lay before me, I was told countless times, by my psychological environment, that I had to beat the rest. I had to be the BEST in everything. It sounds unrealistic, yes, but that was the pressure from the people in my environment, especially my parents, who seem to be the ones who dominate my life.

Actually to come to think of it, the pressure from the psychological environment was kind of ironic. On one hand, my parents want me to do well but on the other hand they try to use discouragement as an attempt to push me to what they call ‘greater heights’. It is a different kind of pressure from what people might think. When I was in Primary One, my parents did not send me for tuition classes, art classes or ballet classes. Instead, they made me complete endless sets of assessment books. Since then, I could complete an approximate total of ten assessment books per year. I kid you not. Not only did my parents make me complete those assessment books, they also made me copy out my spelling and dictation words everyday without fail. Vividly, I remember painstakingly writing each word ten times per day, with the dictation passage being copied out thrice. Also, I could not go to the playground for recreation, like any other child would love to, until I finished all my work I was supposed to do for that day.

Perhaps, you might think that this treatment and degree of pressure is very normal or even suitable, to be put on a child. I strongly think otherwise. A child’s environment should be filled with joy and laughter, squeals and delight. However, it is definitely not so in my case. My environment has been filled not only with the constant pressure to do well and better, it has also been filled with fear. The fear of getting punished. Once, I remember, when I was in Primary Two, my mathematics marks deteriorated from 88% to 79%. As expected, I got a heavy tongue-lashing plus a good whacking from my mother that night. As a result, my outlook of the psychological environment decreased drastically.

In my current situation, the pressure from the psychological environment is getting even worse. However, it is a different kind of pressure now. It is now peer pressure. Come to my secondary school and everywhere you look, you see branded stuff. Bags, pencil cases, shoes. Converse, MYUK, Nike. You see them all branded. I am neither a believer nor a worshipper of branded items. Sometimes when I coincidentally meet my schoolmates outside, I often notice the clothes they wear. Of course, they are branded as well. Even stationery like pens! Once, a friend told me that my stationery were lousy because they had no brand. I think that that is really the shallowest remark I have ever heard. Sometimes, I really do wonder what is wrong with the psychological environment, this superficial psychological environment that I am living in.

Of course, my future will not exist without the ever-increasing pressure of the environment on me. In my future, what I can only envision is work pressure, social pressure and perhaps the pressure to look good. But no, I will never succumb to the pressure. I will work hard, and stay resilient. I will be victorious.

So, this is my environment. It is an ever-so-challenging environment, and it will always stay so dramatic, so stupefyingly senseless.
______________________________________________

everything written in the essay is of pure personal experience and is 100% true.

please comment, people. thanks!

2009-06-27T14:46:00.003+08:00

im having stupid dreams every night now. they are extremely ridiculous and seriously i wish i didnt have any man. ok, maybe once in a while but not EVERYDAY.

heymath is driving me crazy. i still havent completed them all!

and im missing playing in CO like mad, even though the last time i did so was 34 days ago.

2009-06-25T11:41:00.002+08:00

i've finally got my engines on again, after like 4 years. congratulate me, people. i shall give thanks for the motivation(:

Jesus loves me, this I know
for the bible tells me so.
little ones to Him belong
they are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

i remember singing this when i was in nursery! :D it sounds so heartwarming, really.

there's so much homework on moodle! :(

2009-06-21T01:09:00.002+08:00

went shopping friday afternoon and bought quite a lot of stuff haha.i seriously feel quite guilty cos i have not been studying much and instead have been shopping so much D: i've been to orchard like 3 times in these 3 holiday weeks only. and thats only orchard, there are other places too..

had steamboat at leejing's house on friday evening. was good! we all ate until our stomachs are damn bloated up haha. i felt like vomiting seriously. haha, but was fun. havent seen the CO peeps for like ages!! i cant watch two tv shows at the same time for nuts man. the horror movie they kept screaming at was quite lame... and i dont watch 东方之珠. so i spent my time eating. and then i helped leejing to wash some bowls, AND I PUT SOAP ON THEM. haha cos i cant believe leejing says she doesnt use soap to wash her cutlery! anyway, i gave weiqian her sexy birthday present from me and joscelin and lols heng she can wear it! i was so scared she cant wear it YET when i bought it.. haha weiqian i think since she can already fill a cup she shouldnt be complaining too much already lor! OOPS!! HAHAHA! hope she likes it anyway! :DD

had camp echo yesterday! was quite fun although i think very little people turned up. for chopin, only eugeny and rizvan didnt come! we got third place for the games, i dont know how the heck we even managed to get that ;D and when margaret jie announced that we are in 3rd place everyone was like stunned except for me cos i was the first to clap HAHA. the bacon and cheese game was damn funny seriously. dingjun can go very fast and xinting's reaction was super funny haha! and orgh i got hit by a large water bomb at the side during the wet game at the lower sec block. however i didnt get wet because the water bomb only burst when it hit the floor. haha, my body is soft enough to cushion it from bursting... lol. this proves that im not bony.. okay what the heck am i talking. but the water bomb was really painful when it hit me cos it was a really big one i totally went URFFGHH when it hit me! charades was super funny, i was the first one to start acting. and it was hilarious to see them pass on the message when they were like super blur about whats going on. angela is smart though she could actually guess out the cheng yu! yay! :D

He said, "Your faith has healed you."
Matthew 9:22

yes, i believe i've been healed because i can FEEL it, and having contemplating the odds against myself i know i will come out stronger than before :D

2009-06-18T00:30:00.013+08:00

8 of us 4G- chopin girls sitting on each other! haha my thighs were like so tired!

ding ding!

chopin's group photo! its damn nice!

my luggage

my camp booklet and the little book of spiritual laws:D

the welcome pack:D

my tianshiban aka angel-mortal gifts!

my beautifully designed chopin:D lol.

my nametag:D

Vanessa, our awesome group leader TTM.!!

xinting and i!

me and alvina! abit unprepared :\

teri and i!

peixuan and i!

church and the mattresses getting sunned :o

our bunk!

our bunk. very messy.

bbq fire. cant see from the photo :\

bbq fire again.

the amazing campfire!

mass dancing!

this photo is CLASSIC. its of the judges doing the "reaching out" back to us lol. and i am the proud photographer! :DDDD

benedict doing headstand.

shengyong doing some funny beat dance lol.

playing soccer with distant binoculars hahaha. this was very hilarious.

ooohlala~

ooohlala~~~~ sorry ah, you two. i just uploaded all my pictures. but i wont delete them:D

one of the music stations.

me and angela!

the gross pandan cake.

one of the station games involving number cards.

the entire canteen was filled with bustles and noise .

marc and rizvan on twister. lol funny pose.

marc has a funny expression.

our 天使板！

xiu xia jie! as yueniang!

margaret jie as chor chor. see, they really dressed up.

me, teri and angela. teri's kinda dark.lol.

angela really looks like princess fiona in shrek!

rizvan smashing a bottle.

angela's and my nails!

cheryl, peixuan, alvina!

me and angela!
\

teri and i!

haha the binoculars soccer game again.

we played some game with the grooves while waiting for the other group to come out. and also 请你跟我这样做. haha ding ding was damn funny. he cant switch modes! :d

okay we were waiting to hit.

vanessa holding a "violin" and vivien looking blurred.

bunk.

our chopin scroll! very nice:D

eugeny, alvina, peixuan, me! :D

the wonderful band:D oh and if any of u were wondering what Ha K 46.3 meant, ha k sounds like hark which means listen, and 46.3 spells GOD in handphone. so HaK 46.3 means listen to god! cool:D

the wonderful cross:D

dajie in her mortar board!

the sun shone turquoise light in:D

me and eve. eve looks weird:d

bikini dajie bought for me from taka before watching night in the museum 2 with dajie and eve. so cute right! haha btw, night in the museum 2 was great. it was so much better than night in the museum 1. haha at least there was more elements of like romance, adventure, etc.. haha loved it man. its my ideal type of entertainment for movies.

2009-06-17T20:10:00.003+08:00

hi guys im back from 哈K! 46.3! aka student camp and am finally having the chance to blog again. all i want to say about the camp is that i've really learnt, think, reflected and experienced alot and i felt that the camp was worth every second of my 5days there. the games were extremely fun (really), the house cheers were damn funny, the winning of 天才之夜was SO cool, the singspiration and worship in the church were amazingly touching and inspirational, my group members - alvina, peixuan, eugeny, xinting, angela, dingjun, rizvan, marc, teri, cheryl, and most wonderful group leaders VANESSA & Vivien were such awesome people that i really honestly thorougly enjoyed the entire student camp. initially, i had many qualms and had so much hestitation about joining the camp, whether i would feel left out or outcasted, or whether would i be wasting my time, sweat and money on it. however all these fears and worries of mine, i realised, are so unnecessary, uncalled-for, and in fact quite immature... and through this camp, i realised that i've grown up alot. i have never and will never regret going for it. i think i would have regretted not going instead, if i had not. i've learnt the most amazing and spiritually uplifting songs in this last indispensible camp that i've attended in my four years of AHS and i'm proud to say that i've accepted Christ as my saviour(: thankyou jesus for all the love. yes, the holy spirit has touched on me and my tears, and im convinced that i've received the spirit(:

okay. i will talk about it day by day. so on the first day, the 11 of us met in school at 9.30 to go simpang for breakfast. (before that i went to co room to practise for my dsa audition on saturday, since i reached earlier.) the weather was so freaking hot that we perspired like crazy, and when we reached the prata place, we immediately chionged into shop and save for the aircon, LOL. it was unbearable. everyone is like complaining. then we bought some snacks for the night and went back to eat our prata. so had another perspiring trip back to school and this time it was worse because there was no shop and save to take cover when we reached school :( furthermore, we were late :\ anyway, we got into our groups and 4G's group is CHOPIN! (pronounce show-pahn). there are 3 different houses - Kunzzz, huat na & 海底耶. kunzzz group's names are gotten from the western ancient composers. and i like Chopin cos he is a Romantic composer hahaha and his nocturnes are like so omg sexy. ok this sounds wrong lol. huat na names are from the taiwan artistes and haidiye names are from chinese singers. so the first event is singspiration and worship. had quite a difficult time learning the songs cos they are all like unfamiliar to me? but slowly i got the hang of these worship songs. after lunch we practised house cheers! in totally we learnt 3. first one goes like this:

kun zzz eh da bo eh jin yan tao eh
kun zzz eh za bo eh jin you xiu eh
wan nang si kun zzz warrior OI!
wan nang si kun zzz warrier OI!
siam ji bui ah siam ji bui ah
SA!!

okay lah, my hokkien-english translation is horrible. but who cares lol i also donno any hokkien. lucky teri was there to help me haha. she told me the phrases slowly. oh my i feel so dumb. when they were teaching this hokkien cheer i was totally :O??? throughout. another cheer goes like this:

our passion's gonna burn them TILL THEY'RE CHAO DA!
our power's gonna make them ROTI PRATA!
our victory will 在他们身上乱踏！
CHAO DA! PRATA! CHAO DA! PRATA!
AIYO! 都是啦!!

haha damn funny cos it totally has no meaning LOL. the third cheer.

(everyone sleeps)
leader: KUNZ!
everyone: *snores*
leader: KUNZZZ!!
everyone: uhhh (撒娇)
leader: KUNZZZZZ!!!!
everyone: 起来了！
(cant remember the rest, sorry lol)

the last cheer was added in by our group leader, vanessa. haha cos she felt that our cheers not enough power.

WHO ARE WHO ARE WHO ARE WE
WE ARE WE ARE WE ARE WHO
WHO ARE WE
WE ARE WHO
OHH~ KUNZZ!! (cheer)

okay lah dont say i lame go and post all the cheers but i really want to jot down as much as i can remember from the camp as of now, next time when i read it then i can reminisce the memories yay:) was games. they are seriously damn fun, i cant emphasise more. there's this dodgeball game that we had to play and there was this girl in the opponent's team that kept pretending she was still in the game even though she had been hit many times already. then finally marc threw a ball at her and it hit her head damn hard. she rubbed her head and said 'OW!' that was damn funny. and then there were many other games like spitting water into a container from a distance. i think our group did quite well in this station since rizvan could actually just lean forward and spit directly into the container hahaha. after the games is bathing time which i totally hate because there's no way you can get yourself cleaned properly in school. angela, teri, cheryl and i went to the library toilet to bathe since there's a shower head there. we didnt know we were not supposed to =X and then after dinner time was singspiration! we had our first bible study afterwards and i guess its been really long since i've thought and reflected on myself so much already. sometimes its really nice to just have a moment to sit down and daydream for awhile, thinking about what you've done and reflecting on your actions. it was definitely refreshing. we had a life-size cluedo night game after that and i found it quite complicating LOL because my group was like thinking so hard and discussing so far that i felt muddled, so i almost didnt do and say anything for that game lol. supper was next, followed by clean up and bedtime! however we couldnt really sleep due to our inability to get used to the mattress. it always happens during camps haha. so the 8 of us girls sat together in a circle and started girl-talking! haha love this! cheryl shared about AHEM. aww so sweet! and i totally cant believe what guys are actually thinking. didnt expect them to have this in their heads.... haha then suddenly cheryl got this message from rizvan saying hi to all of us and actually he sent it to all of us -.- ok shortly after yanbing jie came into our bunks and scolded us for not sleeping.. not our fault mah we really couldnt sleep... ok and then i think i fell asleep at 2plus.

second day was even better though. most of us woke up at about 7.10 because of the sun rays that shone in. had quiet time (qt) at 8 and it was something like Bible study, only that it was more sharing. breakfast, singspiration, bible study, lunch, games! the games were held in the 正堂, and six of the camp committee dressed up and acted like the characters in 小娘惹. it was HILARIOUS. there was yueniang, taojie, liu yi dao, yuzhu, robert zhang, and chor chor. lol the game is that there would be a question on general knowledge asked, and then the six of them would give different answers, and every group is supposed to choose the character with the true answer. the funniest part of this game is the punishment. ok lah i very sadistic but the punishment is for the group representative to have a clothes peg ripped off part of their faces. i think for our group rizvan went up almost all the time and got quite alot of pinches :\ kudos to him(: oh ya and then the six of them did quite alot of re-enactment from the drama, one of them was that robert zhang whipped yuzhu with his belt haha and then rizvan was sitting next to him so he just threw his water bottle at robert zhang and that was FREAKING HILARIOUS. i laughed at the whole thing until my lungs want to drop out. okay after this long session we washed up and had dinner, singspiration and then games again haha. i seem to be elaborating on games only! :D this time its station games at the canteen and the games were bloody fun, funny and some disgusting. i remember one where we had to pass biscuits from one another using our mouths and then eat it up. the next round we had to pass pandan cake with maple syrup generously poured on it. this was damn gross and it seriously made me feel like throwing up because i tasted the maple syrup and it was damn THICK and DISGUSTING. felt like i couldnt breathe and thankyou guys for your concern haha. there's another game that all of us had to crawl under the length of two canteen tables in the fastest time possible and stupid I *BANGED* my head on the underside of the table. it was damn painful and then i think i had a concussion. couldnt walk straight after that so i let the rest eat the corn. this stupid concussion lasted throughout the next day also and the bump and headache was so terrible that i couldnt eat more than half of my dinner on day 3. blame it on my stupidity. there is another game that you had to stick your face into water, then green beans, then empty tray to remove the green beans stuck to your face. the water was absolutely disgusting i swear. its like full of oil bleah. but damn fun. oh ya and there is one station that is damn funny cos everyone had to take turns to do ten jumping jacks each so we totally looked like mental people jumping crazily. LOL! another station was the passing of a huge ball around using our armpits HAHAHA. everytime it went to me it almost drop on the floor when i gonna pass to vanessa and i always have to turn one 360 deg round before i can pass it right. i think we did well in this game yay! :D the canteen was extremely messy after we all finished and we still had to eat supper there. haha but i had to leave camp on this friday night because my dsa audition is the next mornign at 9.15! =O

okay so i went to vj the next day for my co audition. reached there at like 8.55 and i saw a guy with a double bass (i think he's from temasek not sure) and a few girls from kcco, got sheng, liuqin, cello. heng i didnt see any yangqin. and i was the FIRST ONE WHO WENT IN FOR AUDITION. i wasnt very nervous actually (terie asked me to act zai hehe) but once i went into the CO room my heart started beating at like 567343483920785902 times per minute because there is this row of judges made up of the conductor, the teachers-in-charge, the student committee and all the SLs. i was totally shocked tio, i thought only the conductor would be there to listen. so anyway they asked me to sit in the middle of the room and i seriously felt so intimidated AHH. then i played my yangqin piece and i felt i did not bad because amazingly i didnt play anything wrongly! :DD and i believe its because i prayed hard :)) the conductor asked me to stop my slow phrase after i played the first time and just started the repeat. i think he knows its a repeat so asked me to skip it haha. but anyway i felt good about my yangqin piece. then i played tribal beat. oh man was it SCREWED. shucks lah i donno why i couldnt control my hands. kept adding in wrong things that are not in the score lol. i think its cos i didnt practise enough. but overall still quite fluent cos i didnt like playback anything. then the teacher suddenly asked me why i chose vj. then i got a bit stunned and anyhow answer a dumb answer. shit. i hope the conductor can be just nice enough to let me pass the round. he looks really fierce :X later on in the day terie smsed me to say that her cello friend whose in the committee commented that i was 'not bad' and that there was only one yangqin who dsa-ed which is me. i felt relieved haha especially upon the fact that there is only me one yangqin who dsa which puts me in a better chance to get in. but anyway i cant do anything for now, because the selections will only start on 29 june. i've done my part, and i'll leave the rest to God's grace:D

so then i immediately went back to camp and reached the church at 10. surprisingly early, i thought i would reach at 11plus. was in time for the phototaking session which was scorching because we had to wear our camp tee over what we were wearing which means double layers and plus we had to squeeze in between unknown people of same heights. i was ciaped in between this damn tall and big sized guy and a J1 girl who is in camp committee. =\ after that was bible study and lunch. games after that! we had to earn enough money to make a MV for the 天才之夜after that in the evening so we tried to do all the music stations first since most of us are in performing arts and got learn music. i like the groove station in the counselling centre the most because i felt like we made the music ourselves haha and also kudos to people like dingjun because he totally learnt how to count the musical beats! haha. then there is also this gymnastic game where we had to make human pyramids and dingjun did a cartwheel! lols. okay we didnt fare very well at this game mainly cos of much wastage of time.anyway after that we went back to zhengtang to choose our item to be included in the MV (extension cord) and also our song (晴天by jay chou). k i guess i'll copy and paste this part of the night from marc's blog, cos they are my sentiments exactly.

天才之夜 was damn fun. I shall explain in detail what happened, although i seriously expected pavarotti to win. Before the preliminary rounds, we were not stumped by the prop given to us, which was an extension plug. We just could not piece together something long enough for the song. Well for those who didn't knw, we got the song 晴天 which had a storyline, so it wasn't that difficult for us i guess. So firstly we were thinking to make a skit with the storyline according to the timing, that was just bloody difficult. So we spent alot of the time being annoyed and pissed with the difficult song timing. It was 25 seconds of music with no lyrics, and 1minute after that to chorus，So that threw us off, our plan was never really materialising much. Anything we wanted to be funny, didn't really turn out that way, and to be honest, we actually wanted to forfeit that round. The talk came, we spent the entire talk looking around, in hope of something to say to encourage or help our group, but i guess nothing much happened. We felt helpless and annoyed with ourselves, we couldn't bear those tense moments. The breakthrough however, came when it was supposed to be the fish in the bowl talk thingy. We were given 10-15 minutes to try out the fish in the bowl thingy, after which 天才之夜 would take place immediately. We immediately gathered and started discussing things with little success. Then Vanessa came along and helped us. She planned this entire skit in 5 minutes, something that was impossible for us to do in the entire 2hours allocated, which included our break/bathing time. The story ran along a very typical plot, this guy played by Rizvan would try to jio this girl, who was already attached to another guy, played by me. So then everytime he approached her, he would play his musical instrument, which was the extension plug. Then there would be classic scenes like the rain coming, a shelter coming in (me and peixuan acted as the shelter) , and then someone escorting the girl away. The guy would then fall down in despair. Then at every interval, there would be a group of people coming up to act this scene, like a group of people singing with some pose, reaching out towards the audience, and this was a success. Truly a success. First act, there was loud applause, after which we felt that there was a slight chance we might get through, and discussed how to lengthen the skit a little. Marc and Xinting edited some parts of the argument. After second performance in front of the whole camp, there was lots of applause. Lots. The part where the small group reached out to the audience, the judges reached back, very amusing from my Point of view next to the stage, i managed to take a picture!　AHHH sian. Anyway, I thought Pavarotti's performance in the finals was as good as the one in the Prelims, and of course like i said, i thought they would win. So of course, we cheered them on during the finals for them. After all, we did help them out by lending them our guitar for the entire night, that should have helped them alot. No guitar=no acoustic numb. So to be honest, we didn't mind extra competition, cos we never thought we would win. So when the winner was announced, we were like huh, then we clapped, then we started cheering. Of course, i would say the best performance of the night was the danceoff btween Shengyong and Ben. Hah, their performance although unrehearsed, was the best by far. That's from my point of view, hope i get to see a video of it soon, was too busy watching it to get a chance of videoing. When results were announced, we were like some drunken people who didn't believe we actually won. Margaret jie was like "anyway Chopin you all won", guess she said that because we were abit confused. The church then turned into a place filled with a drunken crowd, everybody was like :O And everyone was just high. The entire crowd joined in the "reaching out" and some of the people in my group were just shocked i guess haha! The next day we all woke up and were like "what exactly happened yesterday night" :D

thanks marc for that paragraph haha! :D now im kind of addicted to qing tian im so going to put in on my music after i blog this finish. okay so after that was supper and clean up but i went home again cos i had tuition and piano the next day. felt quite sore that i couldnt join chopin for the amazing race since that's like the most fun part about the whole camp. D: really, thats my only regret of teh whole camp. then during tuition and piano i kept thinking of chopin, like omg where are they now? are they lagging behind? are they very tired already? lol then my piano teacher kept scolding me cos i kept playing wrongly and super un-fluently. uh. was distracted haha. but in the end i went back and eugeny explained all the games to me! thanks eugeny!:D and we got ninth position, not bad not bad. i tried to give them massages to make them feel better because i was totally feeling CLEAN as i didnt do anything the whole day. haha. after a light dinner of only fried rice, we had singspiration and this speech made by si kai ge was so touching that my tears couldnt help but keep falling. and the most touching part is that during the song there is this phrase that says "and every tear you cry, is precious in his eyes" i think it really shows how much jesus loves us all and that really made my tears flow out many. many others cried too, i think we are all touched by the holy spirit, as what vivien told me(: then had campfire and mass dance! THIS WAS THE MOST FUN THING MAN. i love the mass dance when we sang to the three songs Speedy Gonzalez, Water Horse, and Hey Mickey. the lalala part of speedy gonzalez, we had to huddle in a circle and spin round and round. lol then after that we banged into another group and then we fell down in a domino effect. my foot damn pain. but i think alvina was worst hit cause she fell down totally XP then had bbq and this is my second bbq out of the whole june holidays. the sausages were damn nice! i ate one which had cheese inside yum:D and they werent like co bbq where the sausages had scary hair-raising white lumps growing on them lol. during the bbq, vivien shared with me about the four spiritual laws of christ and she gave me this cute little booklet that i shall cherish. i think i felt better after speaking my heart out. thanks vivien:D then after that it was like 12plus already but we didnt want to go back to bunk so we went to play captain's ball with another group of guys. i was so excited to be captain since we were playing in the middle of the night and the ball can be hardly seen, but then xiu xia jie came to stop us like when we just started playing. :( so we went to sit on the church carpark and sing songs while rizvan played guitar. very nice(: finally at 3plus i went back to bunk and couldnt help falling asleep. lol i still thought i would be able to survive throughout the night without sleeping.

on day 5, monday, the very last day of the camp, we had our last qt, and it dragged so long that we were late for our last breakfast together. so we only sat down for 15 minutes before it was time to go cleanup. i still wasnt full even after eating a plate of noodles and 3 slices of sandwiches haha. i sound like a glutton. then it was clean-up-the-bunk time and we cleared our bunks of the mattresses and luggages. haha our bunk really was quite messy and dirty. we threw the mattresses from the third floor to the first floor, and i donno how eugeny managed but she managed to throw the mattress from the third floor to the second floor instead, LOL. after that went to the zhengtang again for close camp session, was damn sad about it. we sang the very last of our worship songs, then after that vanessa called me, alvina, cheryl, teri, rizvan, and peixuan up to the bao shen lou 3rd level where yanbing gave us PRCs (people who received christ, not people's republic of china) each a welcome -packet. haha inside are booklets about how to live life as a christian and how to make our life more meaningful etc, plus there's a small little cute packet of soya bean milk. it represents the milk that a baby drinks to grow and the 'milk' that jesus wants us to drink so that we grow the way he wants us to(:

oh ya i realised i didnt say anything about the angel-mortal thing. there's this board in the fu tang which our group leaders made and there are slots in which we can put our mortal's gifts(: rizvan was my angel and alvina is my mortal haha. i gave her kinder bueno which i think has melted like crazy.

this camp will definitely be the most memorable thing out of my whole AHS life, especially when i joined it in the last year. i finally understand why the teachers and all the alumnis say that AHS life will not be complete with the 学生营. im glad and proud of myself for choosing what God has planned for me. :D

thank you Lord for everything. i shall post a few of the songs we sang during worship, according to favourite.

1)有一位神
有一位神　有权能创造宇宙万物
也有温柔双手安慰受伤灵魂
有一位神　有权柄审判一切罪恶
也有慈悲体贴人的软弱

有一位神　我们的神
唯一的神　名叫耶和华
有权威荣光　有恩典慈爱
是昔在今在永在的神

有一位神　有权能创造宇宙万物
也有温柔双手安慰受伤灵魂
有一位神　高坐在荣耀的宝座
却死在十架挽救人堕落

２）So you would come
before the world began you were on His mind
And every tear you cry is previous in His eyes
Because of His great love He gave His only Son
Everything was done so you would come

Nothing you can do could make Him love you more
And nothing you've done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love He gave his only Son
Everything was done so you would cmoe

Come to the Father though your gift is small
Broken hearts broken lives He will take them all
The power of the word the power of His blood
Everything was done so you would come

3) Emanicipation
For God so loved the world
He gave His only Son
His Son so loved the world
Oru liberty is won
And we so needed Him
To come and set us Free
And that He did so well
Now we are free indeed
And now the chains that bound us
Lie there in the dust

This is our declaration
It's our emancipation
Always our proclamation
Jesus set us free

A chosen generation
There'll be no hesitation
Freedom for every nation
Jesus set us free
We are free!

4) All for love
All for love, a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love, the heavens cried
for love was crucified

oh how many times have i broken Your heart
but still You forgive, if only i ask
and how many times have You heard me rpay
Draw near to me

Everything i need , is You
My beginning my forever
Everything i need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

All for love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father, have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw man to You,
to You

people, congratulate me for i've got my spirit and life back! say hello to a whole new Dora now! :DDD i will post pictures in the next post cos this post is too long to handle.

2009-06-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

i lost my wallet at the school library today:((((((((((((

and i wish the thief hell.

this lesson really serves as a wake up call to me, and im thankful that it's heaven's will.

ah, my audition! i cant believe its coming so soon. =X i need wishes of good luck from you people!

2009-06-05T22:55:00.004+08:00

accompanied gen to pierce her ears today, since i suggested to get her earholes for her birthday present. quite funny huh. give holes for a present. aww gen you just have to accept that im unique lol. haha but they were okay, right! :D not that bad lah. i remember MY own experience. after tht went to study study and of course, irresistibly, talked about many stuffs stuffs. hahaha. i want to talk somemore man. i know i very auntie lah, aiyo! LOL!

yesterday, i dreamt about ahco again. i dreamt that it was farewell, and that i would never be part of ahco no more. and i cried in my dream :( coach daniel is right. i still cant let go. why?

going to attend a wedding lunch tomorrow. im going to wear a purple dress. :D

the more i read people's blogs, the more i feel like they are boasting about their lives. it makes me feel so overwhelmed, and so empty at the same time. oh gosh. help.

2009-06-04T22:57:00.015+08:00

okay i shall blog about my life the past week haha. since the events of the past week has been a total blur for me i shall try my best to talk about every event :)

last tuesday we had phototaking and the milo van came heh. phototaking was okay but i seriously cannot stand the oven-like heat from the sun. i wish this torturing time would pass quickly, and i wish for more rain. oh and i think i havent seen ms trina so angry before :\ i would have did what rizvan did. oops. okay and i dont know how many ages i have not drank from a milo van already, so dont call me greedy or wad hor, cos i drank 6 cups HAHAHA. very nice lah. but i remember and fondly that last time every year without fail there would be a milo van in my primary school hahaha(: and i'd drink to my wonderful fill. i wonder if there is going to be any milo van in college? lol..

wednesday was another boring school day listening the teachers droning on and on in their ever-so-monotonous voice. and the worst thing is that once the mid years are over they immediately start piling homework on us again.
thursday i went yvonne's house to play table tennis. hah i dont want to say anything here cos what i want to say, i already told all of you (:

friday-- we listened to the different teachers give speeches on the overall results of the different batches' academics and performance. im seriously quite shocked with the 'outstanding' results we got. it sort of shook me, and i wondered if i chose the right school or not. anyway, after school was shopping with genevieve at parkway parade and then i bought dahlias with baby's breaths for the seniors -- simin eileen terie and jazz. weiqian doesnt know how to appreciate flowers at all lol. i discovered a difference between us hahaha considering that i love flowers like O.M.G. after that i attended the Vjco concert:DDD oh my my the concert was totally amazingly superb and i LOVE LOVE LOVE the 21 year old student conductor man. he is so totally talented, eloquent, charismatic and CUTE! :D i would like to marry someone like him next time man!! okay i think i sound super despo now LOL. but i love every one of the items, they play around with some musical effects so refreshing. in some parts of the piece 'Victoria' composed by that talent i felt that some parts really should be more subtle and not so aggressive because they dont really fit into the mood of the whole piece. and also the crescendo should have taken a little bit more time to build up the tension, i felt that in some parts they were too rushed. however on the overall the piece was well done and special too, with tunes of really strong musical character, considering that it is only written by a cute 21-year-old. :D i love him man. HAHA(: im loving VJ more and more and more and i'll be so sad if i cant get into it.

weekend was average, except with the mad rush with the dsa applications. you dont know how troublesome it is until you try it out yourself. its like preparing for a job interview.

monday i went to school library to study with cherlene joscelin and qianru. lol actually it wasnt really a study session since the four of us had to keep running off to different places at different times. the school library is really quite conducive(: anyway, i was as usual, rushing through all my dsa stuffs, running about for nomination forms, getting school stamps on all the documents, and writing & printing my achievements. i submitted the whole file of documents yesterday on my own to VJC's reception. and i seriously cant wait to know when's the dsa date for auditions. currently im practising on my yangqin like crazy seriously. i play on it more than i play on my piano.

tuesday was the most energy-absorbing day of the whole week! i went for a literature seminar on TKAM. it was quite insightful but i think its discussed at a very surface level and i still think that miss ng explains much better. i felt that the speaker could have shared with us more quotes and like the skill of how to explain better. haha, i wouldnt have went if it wasnt for liling who had her doctor's appointment fixed on that timing. im so helpful, am i not lol. after that i rushed to attend our CO qing gong yan BBQ at pasir ris park. haha LUCKY IT DID NOT RAIN. we had to walk for freaking long to get into the place and i feel ashamed of myself for being unable to cycle:( i must totally learn it after O levels, MUST. overall it was quite nice to be with the juniors again after so long and i think charmaine is getting to be a great leader already(: lin lao shi came with his wife and son also! omg, his son is almost an exact replica of him man. equally shuai lol. and i think he is so lucky to have such a supportive wife, like wow. had some scary experience while buying the groceries for them halfway through with joscelin but i shall not say it here haha. :P

and finally yesterday, i went to submit my dsa application form before eating lunch at RTC and then going to my tkgs with my younger sister and parents. they had to attend a parent-teacher conference to get eve's result slip. and it is nonetheless terrible as usual with the exception of her getting top in class for amath(; im quite surprised man haha i think i should work harder seriously. okay this sounds ironical but then after that i went to taka with my mum for shopping. we bought $70 worth of things and all with $10 vouchers. so you can imagine how much calculation we had to do to make sure that the bill fits nicely into ten-dollar amounts.

had physics skill 3 O level today. i felt it was okay. hope i can do well haha im quite confident of it anyway. i went to file a police report for my chemistry skill 3 ws with yvonne today. the policemen were damn funny. and im seriously taken by surprise by their friendliness and cheeriness. when i told the entrance guy that i wanted to file for a missing chemistry worksheet, he went "a WHAT?" lol, then i repeated and he sent me in to the reception. then the whole process repeated itself. 'a WHAT?!?' after giving my ezlink card i was again referred to the administration counter where the third process repeated itself. this time it was more funny because the officer sorta flared up immediately when i repeated myself. he went "WHAT? This is too much lah! Worksheet also want to report siah!" i wont ever forget his words man. i cant believe they came from a police lol. damn funny. he gave me a service survey form to do and i ticked all 'very good' hahaha. after taking down all my particulars and stuff, i got the report and left. on the way out, the policemen in the guardhouse outside waved happily and almost, frantically at me. lol! i totally didnt expect it! then i started to regret not putting 'excellent' for the friendliness part of the survey form.... LOL.... ok after the whole day at school i went to shop for joanne's present with the 4 of them again, and we spent a very very long time at BHG lol wondering which one is the thing to buy. hahaha its quite difficult to buy a present for joanne. anyway, after buying we went home and i went for tuition. OH YA. I GOT MY COCA COLA PURPLECONTOUR GLASS FOR THE UPSIZED MEAL AT MACS! OMG, so happy!! its so freaking freaking beautiful. and i got addicted to the ice-cream earrings at diva. LOL freaking cute also! okay now time for pictures! :D

VJCO Vhapsody concert:D it only made me more desperate in joining VJ and VJCO haha.

beautiful tea ware in our Shangrila hotel high-tea buffet.

me and one of my favourite seniors TERIE BERRY after SYF! :DD

i cried once the SYF results were announced on this piece of paper that i was writing the results on. and the evidence is there for all to see. lol.
dunno what baked rice at pastamania.

sakae sushi with 5 girls! :D

Cherlene and I. i apologise for that weird suspicious expression from me, haha.

me!

ramen at ajisen at plaza sing with cherlene, qianru and joanne last year:D very nice haha and thats my purple tshirt in the picture lol.

yes, i wrote these myself. i put these on my handphone wallpaper during the midyears and am going to do that for prelims and o levels too haha.:)

my first can of red bull! haha its actually quite nice(:

3 of us delinquents drinking red bull! :D

SYF ticket that i gave my parents to view our SYF competition. :D

MY beloved purple cup which i used just now to drink my favourite purple yoghurt drink. how cool is that huh lol.

im currently addicted to this WONDERFUL NIKE SHOE that costs $109.00 :(

pretty hot pink tablets that angela treated me to! (: very nice(:

this picture of my younger sister and me is damn funny omg! :)

these are some of the many poses that da jie took individually. very pretty hor, omg! i cant wait for my turn! :D

family shots. DONT TELL ME YOU CANT RECOGNISE ME.

joscelin and a large large pooh bear we saw in a shop in tampines one.

LOL, eve trying to act like some Ne zha.

like father, like daughter! lol, eve was trying to imitating papa's walking style.

wonderfully smooth rock sugar egg dessert that my mom makes(:

cupcake from cherilynn! :D

pathetic BBQ fire that we made for CO bbq. the picture is super blur.

i drew this for cherilynn's birthday card!

i snapped a picture of these hot black heels in the dentist's when i was waiting for my turn.

large american strawberries. oooh la la.

Yes, im saving myself for marriage! :D

qingkang and qingying celebrating both their birthdays with a cake.

18chefs graffiti we did(: i wont forget this time when we got complained by our own alumni seniors. wth.

weiqian and qingying! :D

yes, we sure do LOVE LIN LAO SHI!

yes, i changed my blogskin. but unfortunately the pretty picture doesnt seem to show:( and i want to tell the world that i AM in fact trying my best to stand on pointe. not really in the literal sense, but that's for you my darlings, to think about (:

do teachers actually read our blogs?
and you dont have to wait for your birthday to receive a cupcake. i mean like, are you so unloved. lol.

2009-05-26T21:52:00.004+08:00

oh haha i just found out that this will be my 200th post, like wow. lol anyway just a quick post.

today is cherilynn's Birthday! :D happy birthday to her and i hope she can continue to excel in her studies and continue to be even more diligent;D although she already is super smart and hardworking. (: and really thanks for the muffin, she's too kind already!

oh yea im so happy my work is going to be in the Falcon magazine like totally YAY YAY YAY YAY! finally! i've been waiting for this day for so long already! :DDD

DSA application is killing me. there are so many things that i have to rush in such a short span of time. the deadline is 8 june and i still have a gazillion things to rush like all the stupid testimonials from the teachers and to fill in all the CCA achievements things. ahh. i do until i want to go mad already. and besides these i also have to keep singing praises of myself in all the descriptions of my 'talents and achievements' which is kind of yuck when you think of it, because i feel so arrogant and weird to keep saying that i have this and that skill when i am actually not very sure if i can handle it LOL. okay i guess i have to go and hurry up send it in if not i'll just blow my only chance. and i seem to be the only one who is thinking of dsa.

oh ya, today is the last episode of the 书包太重. hehe i like that show, its very close to the heart. :D and huiru's acting is really superb, even my mum and dad say so! (:

and i want to say something too. i realise that the older you get, the more regrets you have to experience because time is really not on your side and you just have so many things to do. so eventually you are forced to make some sacrifices and regret those things that you fail to accomplish. and its REALLY NOT a nice feeling to experience regret. its not that i dont want to go for it, okay, i seriously dont have any time at all for my homework and not to say, study. i think i will screw up my prelims also which are atrociously in only 3 months' time. i really need a time bank.

do you think you really know me? do you know who or what i like or dislike? do you know how my train of thoughts are flowing? do you think you know what is deep down inside me? you dont! so dont keep acting like you know me very well. i do keep my distances. and i know when to let go and when to take control. dont keep treating me like some 5 year old kid who doesnt know anything.

tata. im dying of a heatstroke.

2009-05-24T21:53:00.002+08:00

okay right now im looking for an inspirational blogskin to spur me on for the next few months or so, but i cant seem to find any nice ones...

and why does the whole world think i rebonded my hair.. i would love to do so luh. i only straightened my hair with a clipper for the graduation photograph yesterday. by the way, the photographer was freaking funny. he kept making funny noises to make us laugh. like some chicken noises. my family and i were totally trying to contain our humongous laughters, and then i was shaking like mad because he told me to lean forward over the chair that my father was sitting on. and he took very long to adjust the angles and stuff, leaving my back very stiff and tired. lol. but the photographer is in fact a professional, actress Jeanette Aw and newsreader Dong Su hua also went there to get their graduation photos taken (: hope tt by next week the album of photos we chosen can arrive and then we'll choose the most perfect one to have printed. and i super cant wait for my turn to come man.

on friday, it was my parents' 26th wedding anniversary, and the three of us presented them with our long awaited family tee! haha, i bet none of you've thought of doing that lol. yup so anyway dad's tee says 'henry 01' on the back, mum's tee says 'karen 02', and then following the rest of us. and im the proud designer of the tee :D maybe some day i'll wear it for yall to see, if got chance. wahaha(: we also went to 'The Ship restaurant at Shaw centre to have our dinner because that's dad's favourite steakhouse and my parents often went there during their courtship<3 haha so sweet the three of us are, arent we.

okay i guess that's enough blogging for me tonight. its getting late and im going to go out with the 4 girls again tmr! :D

going out with genevieve on tuesday too! :D

2009-05-23T10:18:00.007+08:00

lol okay lah my results are not so bad lah, you guys make me feel like as if im some die-hard pessimist man teehees. okay anyway i think its been a very long time since i posted a proper post so i'll blog as much as i can think of here(:

okay from where i left off. the dinner with CO on 24th april. l lol got ppl actually complain about us being too noisy. mr hoo announced it over assembly the following monday morning. felt so embarassed man, hee but since we've done it we must be responsible right. NOT LIKE SOME GENTLEMEN WHO GOT NO GUTS. okay very obvious here but hor guess what. we can really see from this event who is the braver and more courageous sex lah. i mean like where are the guys? 世界上的男人都不是好东西... lol.. all of us who went up to see mr hoo immediately after dismissal were all girls. there was a big hooha over this event cos we all felt accused of something we didnt do and so we kept going to find mr hoo and mdm wong to clarify our innocence lols. i think the alumni who complained about us also very childish and lame lah. why do such things to us juniors luh. stupid.

okay and i just went to cut and straighten my hair for later when i'll be taking a family photo for my elder sister's graduation:D haha, i wonder when will be my turn to wear the prestigious mortar board (square hat) wahaha. and i hope the photo will be hung anywhere except for the spot above the piano cos thats my spot to hang my photo man lol!

im not feeling very relieved even though its after the midyears. i've totally found out that the effort i put in for my studying is like 0.001% as compared to the rest of my classmates and tuition classmates, leaving me feeling so inferior. im not as resolute as i thought i was. haiz. so on the overall, i am quite disappointed for everything, even my english. especially my oral, i thought i would do better than before. and i thought mrs hudd was lenient. appears not to be. 72% is not good enough for me, shit. i dont know why my components are so unconsistent. when i thought some part was improving, the other parts deteriorated. i'll try my best to read more books. pathetic me has only completed a total of 5 books this year. damn slow, i will read more. and i also promise to work much harder for physics. over the past two days i've got a good deal of emotional blows. im sad okay? maybe i dont look so but i am so inside.

i've watched angels and demons on tuesday with yvonne, mabel and liling. haha it was so super nail-biting. really alot of suspense. and i enjoyed it, although i dont quite understand this type of action movie with themes of religions.

anyway, i need more inspiration to study.

oh yeah didnt mention. i'll be getting married at the end of this year haha. you can call me Mrs Lu :DDD so excited!

2009-05-20T20:48:00.004+08:00

just came back shopping with the 4 of them. haha i hope C likes what we're gna give her(; i'd love it.

i think so far, this year, the most important thing i've learnt is that

giving is definitely better than receiving.

its a feeling so uplifting, a gift so precious.

:D

Status: MISSING AHSCO LIKE NO OTHER. D:

im really tired. and my grades, they're slipping like crazy. but i've reached a point that no good result or praise from teachers can actually make me happy. what a pitiful me. thankyou miss ng PK, ms lee CS and mr ng BK(: and lin lao shi! :D

ok. you've seen the brain damage done.

yeah, you forgot me. i knew you would, you cockadoodleasshole.
I AM ANGRY WITH YOU.

2009-04-26T22:37:00.004+08:00

the 24th of april 2009 was, by far, the most memorable day in my whole life.

i just want to say that im very very sad for having to leave ahsco. im sure the whole batch of sec fours are also feeling the same way. thanks and sorry to all my friends for being so understanding and caring towards me. i know i cried ALOT this whole week, first its so much on monday and even more on friday. thanks to KAHSUAN, WEIMING, MANDY, CRYSTAL, CHARMAINE & QINGYING for really being there to comfort me, see me cry and keep asking me to dont cry(haha although i just wanted to cry my heart out). i mean, its really sad to leave, i cant even feel like im a sec four, and like, i've got to leave already! and we've been putting in so much effort and all, and what, its time to leave now, goodbye? yea i cant seem to accept it but ahh the sinking feeling in me is just so hard to express that i just have to use my tears to describe my grief. HAIZ.

and we had the presidential election and comm election this whole week too. im proud of hazel for being voted percussion's new SL and CO's treasurer! haha she has taken over BOTH my previous roles. but the real loss came after i explained to her all the accounting stuff and rules, and i handed the CO fund over to her. THE SENSE OF LOSS IS INDESCRIBABLE. its like i have been keeping the whole sum of money and the book with me for a year already, and now im giving it up. it feels like a part of me is gone. AND A VERY IMPORTANT PART TOO. D: not that i dont trust hazel or what, i mean i really do. but then the empty feeling is too much for me to bear :(

and congrats to charmaine choo for being our new CO president! haha i voted for you too! (: hope you wont have such a hard time like zhenyi. i wish you all the best with the CO and the teachers :D guier is our new vice-president and i know she can do a good job in supporting charmaine too(:

being in ahsco has taught me that results are important, but not as important as the process itself. i will never forget this very precious advice. it shall affect my whole life and my principles, and i shall try to enjoy every little piece of event in my life. and i've also learnt that being confident but not complacent is really important. haha i've also included these quote in all of ur farewell cards(: it's originally by yours truly:D

OH YAA. LAST BUT MOST OF ALL, I WANT TO END THIS POST WITH A THANKYOU MESSAGE TO MY DEAR DEAR JUNIOR WENQI.

HAHA YOU HAVE BEEN A VERY BEST JUNIOR AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! although you seemed a slight bit arrogant when you just came in to co, but throughout these whole four months, i started to understand you as a sweet and cute junior much much better! haha really, 人不可貌相. i was so touched when you cried on friday, i didnt know you felt so strongly towards us seniors leaving, and i definitely wont forget the hug, i can really share the passion :) please tag back on my blog if you see this okay!

and ANNABELLA ALSO! I WONT FORGET YOU EITHER! OMG, THE 10PAGE MESSAGE YOU SENT ME ON FRIDAY MADE ME CRY SO HARD SERIOUSLY. IT ONSET MY TEARS, OKAY. you're really a sweetie man. haha, i'LL LOVE AND MISS YOU TOO!

pictures at 18 chefs for the celebration of qingying's and qingkang's birthday will be posted up after the mid year exams, its a promise.

and i think i've done enough crying for this year. i better get my head in my books, though reluctance is keeping me from working.

i will love AHSCO my entire life, i swear.

2009-04-23T15:45:00.003+08:00

oh yay! i totally found my new love:D LIUQIN 柳琴!!! :D i think im seriously considering to buy it as a toy to play with. haha, i found my second childhood as well!

dont you think its so cute? haha, just like a huggable baby! and the strings produce nice little twinkly sounds(: i love it!

2009-04-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA!

"编号#12,

圣公会中学,

Anglican High School: -

金奖, GOLD"

AHSCO GOT GOLD!!!! I WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD MAN!

im so very proud of ahsco and i love it like crazy seriously. i dont know how many times i should say it to prove my point. im so proud of myself and my solo parts for SONG OF CICADA and FENG. syf is finally over, and i am really happy to say that i can handover and leave ahsco without any regrets at all (: thats the best feeling. no matter what has happened in the past, it doesnt matter anymore. all the sad tears, the negative thoughts, the bad feelings about one another, they all dont count anymore, cos the main thing is that everyone has done their utmost best, and we attained our desired award (:

"要维持现在的水平才是困难的,想要突破它,更困难."

syf day, yesterday, was a total mad rush, and so many events happened that it felt like three days in a row without sleeping. we reached co room at 7.55 after flag-raising, and immediately went to the main school hall for our final practice. alot of people passed by the hall and watched us play, which made me a bit uncomfortable cos they kept peeping. at 10am, we went to canteen for our very early lunch and i couldnt even eat anything much, wasted one-third of my vegetarian noodles, like shit. hahah but after that i went to change into the red red costume and black pants (which i still dont like, until now) and my court shoes and then went to the hall to move the yangqins to outside the d&t storeroom. lol then before that, i realised that i havent tuned all the three yangqins, and in a flurry i practically ran to the main school hall and desperately called for a tuner. by the time i finished tuning it was about 11.30 and i rushed back to CO room to put on my make-up and tie the (LOL) red and gold ribbons. i realised that everyone had already put on their make up and got ready while i was still super not ready, and when i went into co room yujun was like "eh dora 还没有绑ribbon leh!" haha mad rush see i told you. stephanie helped us to say a prayer to God to bless us with Gold and then immediately after that we started to carry the yangqins from the main school hall to the d&t storeroom to load onto the lorry.

"金牌是我们的目标,但是它不是我们的目的."

on the lorry, fangyun was seriously crazy. she's a sec one, and the only word to describe her is simply, CRAZY. she was totally shouting out of the lorry and embarassing ourselves. i felt like asking her to get a hold on herself, lol. dont know why, talking to her made me feel like i was talking to a p3 kid. and she said i looked like a sec2, like LOL! im sec4 luh! and the lorry ride really messed up my hair.

"我才不管你们拿什么狗屁金牌,都不可以拿来吃."

ok, reached SCH. and we waited for almost one hour before it was our turn. like wth, the waiting time was unbearable. suhui almost lost her score, but found it with charmaine in the end. seriously i think some people should be more responsible, and they should really take care of what they do to other people. many of us were nervous, but i wasnt really very nervous, more of worried. ESP FOR THE SHENG OFFBEATS FOR 蝉歌. when its our turn to go onstage (2.20), i stood at the bottom of the staircase to the stage and looked around the hall, and i saw my parents waving madly at me. lol especially my father. he was waving like some __.

okay then our 13mins on stage. i was so worried that my yangqin's notes will go wrong man! kept asking the helpers (ivy and some other sec one) to not bang my yangqin against anything. at first, i thought those 13mins were really not enough for us to showcase our true talents, but i was contented when the results were out lah. on stage, mandy and joscelin broke both their first strings on their liuqins!! omg! since they only had one extra liuqin, joscelin took it and mandy continued to pretend to play on an invisible string. and shujun also broke her zhongruan string. O.O dunno why so many unfortunate events occurred. the last time round, nothing seemed to happen haha. when we left the stage, mandy started to cry but i didnt cos i just continued to feel worried about our impending results....

back in co room at 3.30. after carrying back up all our instruments, we took a CO photo:DD i love it when we take whole CO photos, feels like a 全家幅(: gave my farewell gifts to about half the CO haha although i didnt get anything much back, i still felt really satisfied cos i sincerely believe that giving is better than receiving.

finally, we chionged to SCH again. actually we wanted to watch lin lao shi conduct greendale, but we werent in time. in the end, we just squeezed into the hall for the results. waited from 5.30 until 6.15 (like hell), before they finally announced. here are the results. ( i included day 2, today's results as well)

DAY ONE, 20 APRIL 2009
Boon Lay Secondary School 9.00am Silver
Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road) 9.20am Gold
River Valley High School 9.40am Gold
CHIJ Katong Convent 10.00am Silver
Chung Cheng High School (Yishun) 10.20am GWH
Swiss Cottage Secondary School 11.00am Gold
Bedok South Secondary School 11.20am Silver
Bukit Panjang Government High School 11.40am Silver
Jurongville Secondary School 12.00pm Bronze
Coral Secondary School 12.20pm Silver
Manjusri Secondary School 2.00pm Silver
Anglican High School 2.20pm GOLD!!! <33
Siglap Secondary School 2.40pm Bronze
Holy Innocents' High School 3.00pm Bronze
Pasir Ris Secondary School 3.20pm GWH
East View Secondary School 4.00pm Silver
Chung Cheng High School (Main) 4.20pm GWH
Serangoon Secondary School 4.40pm Silver
Greendale Secondary School 5.00pm Silver

DAY TWO, 21 APRIL 2009

Teck Whye Secondary School 9.00am Bronze
Christ Church Secondary School 9.20am Silver
Presbyterian High School 9.40am Silver
Temasek Secondary School 10.00am GWH
Raffles Girls School 10.20am Gold
Si Ling Secondary School 11.00am Silver
Mayflower Secondary School 11.20am Gold
Northland Secondary School 11.40am Silver
Marsiling Secondary School 12.00pm Gold
Maris Stella High School 12.20pm Silver
Raffles Insititution 2.10pm Silver

Nan Hua High School 2.30pm Gold
Changkat Changi Secondary School 2.50pm Bronze
Yuying Secondary School 3.10pm Gold
Bukit Batok Secondary School 3.30pm Silver
Victoria School 4.10pm Gold
Nanyang Girls' High School 4.30pm GWH
Fuhua Secondary School 4.50pm Gold
North View Secondary School 5.10pm Bronze

me and mandy cried like crazy just as the emcee announced our result, and we just embraced(: my tears of joy, they just flowed like a river. so many thoughts were going through my head. what if we get silver? what if we cannot face the seniors with our lousy result? what if we make lin lao shi lose face? and most importantly, have all our efforts and practices gone to waste? but when the emcee announced, it was such a great relief okay! jolynn sitting one row in front of me and mandy also started crying. she passed us a pack of tissues each. didnt use them though i was too busy wallowing in my tears of joy. and i didnt even get to write down the rest of the school's results cos i wet the paper i was writing with and i just didnt want to think of anything else. called terie while crying and i think she couldnt make out what i was saying, lol.

so we went to bedok macs to celebrate. yujun wasnt very happy about us getting gold though but i shant blog it as it will definitely dampen my spirit. at macs, i had a darn good time laughing like hell. the feeling is just indescribable. after which terie came along and let us hear our recordings of the syf! song of cicada and feng! :D three cheers for these two songs man! i cant believe i actually broke down and cried when i listened to feng again, esp the figure 12 that part, it really sounded good and touching. and i thought it really portrayed the desire, or better, desperation of the whole ahsco to get a good award. im really proud of the suonas, aka chinese trumpets! :D

and lastly i seriously want to thank so many people for everything.

zhenyi, thanks for being such a supportive and encouraging friend and always helping me when im feeling down and listening to my rantings about ____.

weiqian, thanks for also being such a great listener and gossip-monger (lol) and its been great fun talking to you and listen to your perceptions cos i all i can do is laugh at you.

leejing, thanks for being such a patient and good vice-pres haha i enjoy laughing at your funny faces too (:

jolynn 亲爱的, thanks for being such a supportive senior and ahsco will always love you. we juniors really feel proud when seniors love the music we play and you always give us the will to perservere on(:

minyu! percussion will always stick close to you cos u're such a nice and encouraging senior!

joscelin, thanks for being such a goody goody goody nice confidante to talk to and i will never ever feel awkward to tel you anything haha(: i hope we can continue to be good friends after sec 4! :D and the rest of the 1B'06 clique too!

kahsuan, thanks for being such a nice and kind soul. i will never forget you:D

mandy! thanks for being such a great, GREAT crying partner! it feels really good to share my tears of joy with you(: i will never forget you as a really enthu junior!

and of cos, thankyou so much to all those who sent me sms good-luck and congrats wishes! i seriously appreciated them so much no matter how short the sms was or whatever! LOVE YOU:DDD

okay, shall give more of my thanks next time. its really getting late. for now, some pictures of those i didnt post last time. sorry for looking horrible in some of the pics. next time then post those taken yesterday, during our SYF! :D

me and my crying partner! :DDDDD

see? gabriel went too!

mandy listening intently to the two syf songs.

me and joscelin after napfa 2.4 run today, at east coast park! haha too bad its our last time running there. im really satisfied with my position, cos i finally got it back after 3 years! although i was the laziest this year, didnt even run or train for napfa. yes, my fourth resolution is failed:( haha never mind cos i still feel very satisfied with and proud of myself. and liling!! DUO LUO LA IS FREAKING PROUD OF YOU! LOVE YOU MAN! I CANT APPLAUD YOU ENOUGH! YOUR PERSERVERANCE AND FIGHTING SPIRIT TOUCHED ME:D do that for O levels too! lishan came in first and liling came in second, ada came in fourth, i came in __ and xinting came in seventh! YAY! 4G girls are good runners and we did 4G proud by snagging the top 10 positions haha(:

me and yujun!

me and zhenyi!

me and leejing!

me and crystal!

Oh ya, congrats to AHS CHOIR for achieving the GOLD W HONOURS award again for the 2nd time and bringing great glory to the school! :D so happy for them! band got silver, at least they maintained. so to the band, dont feel so sad/ depressed ok, everything was worth it(: