Sunday, February 3, 2008

Kopi and bread. Which is more talkative, kopi or bread?

Answer: Bread. Because BreadTalk but Kopitiam?!

im trying very hard to make myself laugh.

Friday was a really idiotic day. i cant believe it was finally the day all my feelings would be let out. During co, that gay teacher came and gave us a new chinese new year song to play. then he went up to the podium in front of us and anyhow 指挥us you noe. wth. and he still act like he damn pro at conducting like tat. he totally disgraced himself. and when we were trying out this song, i kept laughing spastically cos i couldnt catch up luh! suhui kept looking at me for help but i couldnt even help myself how to help her right!! and i also cant believe we are supposed to actually perform this stupid song on monday. its like so last minute? we only practised for one day and they expect us to perform le?? but luckily the song is kinda easy, and also AHCO so talented, can sightread so well especially percussion! wahaha. i hope tmr when i go to school i wont totally forget how to play the song. cos if i do forget everything im so going to make a fool of myself. and the other thing, i dont know why they dont allow us to perform sectionally anymore. i was so looking forward to dueting with zhenyi!!!! also they dont want us to play 打鬼anymore. instead they rather we play 邻中. wad the hell our 打鬼 is so much better?? and we havent practised 邻中for so damn long le, i have a bad feeling that we are going to screw up tomorrow. So guys, if we play like shit tomorrow, dont laugh or jeer. cos its so super last minute luh!!


okay, and alot of people were injured yesterday. zhenyi and qingkang were physically injured by carrying the instruments to the concourse for performance on monday. zhenyi hurt her ankle and qingkang hurt us toe. the school is so guo fen, we carry to the hall already very good, they expect us to carry to concourse nia. wth. anyway i was also injured, but not physically. rather i was emotionally injured. and TWICE at that. can you believe it? what the pathetic hell, i only got ONE out of NINE for my maths test??? i was freaking shocked! its the first official test in my whole life that i failed!! first test i ever failed was my malay test in sec1. but that doesnt count cos after all i dropped malay in the end. second test i failed was a history test in sec1 also, because i didnt study for it. but the whole class had a re-test in the end. this ONE UPON NINE is really a big 打击to me lah seriously! even though i dont show it, i may seem like im laughing over it but do you noe deep down inside im seriously very sad and disappointed with myself????


the second 打击came when i got home. my theory result came out le, and i am utterly disappointed. even though my piano teacher said congrats to me when i told her, im still very disappointed. if i had found that stupid idiot key correctly, i could have got 96!!! i cant believe i got marked down for that whole section!! oh well, i guess praying to god doesnt help unless you help yourself, because god only helps those who help themselves. lol what crap.

oh yea, i finally found out your secret, cherilynn. YOU CANT RUN AWAY FROM ME FOREVER! LOLLLLL!!!!

yesterday nothing happened. my elder sister treated my family to dinner at an indonesian restaurant because of her bonus. lol my mum got 10 months' bonus, sister got 4 months' bonus and dad only got 1 month bonus. stupid japanese men, they are so stingy. but whatever.

today, sunday, was a very very very bad day. i can say that it is one of the worst days of my life. after coming home from tuition it was around 11 am. then my mum asked me to practise piano, so i did so after practising czerny exercises and the sonatina, i started on my exam pieces. the first two pieces were generally soft, but the third piece is a toccata so obviously it is supposed to be very loud. after practising this third piece for a while, my mum was kinda irritated by the loud and fast way i was playing it and guess what she said???

"I think ah, our poor neighbours are very irritated everytime they hear you play ah..."


i was quite pissed and hurt when i heard this, so i retaliated by saying, "YEA YEA MY PLAYING IS DAMNNNNNNNN LOUSY, OKAY?" at this point of time i already felt like crying lah. and guess what she just continued to go on about how irritating my playing is. then my father was like telling her to stop it, and she said "Yah everything i say that is not in her favour, you will surely say that i am in the wrong."


it was the last straw, and i could take it no more. as i sat in front of the piano my tears began to roll down silently. do you understand how disheartened and saddened i felt?? i quickly went to the toilet and cried my heart out. i seriously cant believe she said that. i mean, its like telling me to stop playing and give up on piano???

another thing, she keeps discouraging me from taking grade 6 theory. even when i keep saying that i can cope, she keeps saying that it will be very tough for me. why is she doubting my abilities? i am already confident of being able to cope lah. she doesnt even want to give me the chance to attempt!

what kind of mother do i have?? i thought mothers are supposed to encourage their daughters to do their best in everything? why is my mother doing the exact opposite? why is she discouraging me so much? and why doesnt she trist me? i am already fiften and yet she still treats my like a kid who doesnt noe her own abilities. i am utterly disappointed in her. all it took was just two sentences. sometimes i really have doubts that she is my biological mother. im lucky and unlucky at the samt ime, lucky to have such a great father who supports me so much, unlucky to have such a uncaring mother who doesnt care how i feel at all.

im sorry, mummy.but dont worry i will NEVER give up on piano and music. one day i'll be someone accomplished and prove to you that i can do it. because you dont trust me.

believe it or not i was crying the whole time i wrote this post, and now i am still crying. i have soaked a total of 12 tissues and counting.

yesterday i dreamt that i was in japan again. perhaps that is what i really want. perhaps in the future i would just migrate to japan and stay there forever.and i hate you. you are so biased.

Dora Chan ate a strawberry at 3:14 PM

DORA

16+ years
Libra
2nd October 1993
Kuo Chuan Presby PS, Bedok West Primary, Anglican High School, Temasek JC
1F'00, 2A'01, 2/2'01, 3/1'02, 4/1'03, 5/1'04, 6/1'05, 1B'06, 2B'07, 3G'08, 4G'09, OG2!!!, CG 31/10
AHSCO yangqin/percussion<33
170cm, 50kg
evening_explorer28@hotmail.com
dora.chants@gmail.com
child of god:D
i aspire to attain a Masters degree in accountancy
and maybe run a full marathon someday in my life.
this is me, and im trying my best to stand on pointe(:

LOVES!:D

purple, white, pink
my peeahno!
Yangqin!
Violin!
AHSCO & FOREVER<3
TJCO:D
percussion '08
quiet jazz
orchestral concerts! :D
pralines
apple crumble
apple juice
Novels that touch (:
Visiting countries
French roses <33
PEACE <333
and i really like it when people respect me(:

dislikes

unappreciativeness kills me
durians
Ppl who refuse to reply me
Being accused
Waiting
smokers
and i dont want soft toys on my birthday(:

DYing FOR

To be more grateful and content
more time for myself
Distinctions for all my piano exams :D
Greater determination improve on my academics
Respect
your well wishes
better skin
no more byebyes.
i want handmade cards on my birthday.(:
and you can buy me more clothes:D,
and Burberry:D

RESOLUTIONS

to manage my time better and stop doing last minute work
to complete a novel every fortnight
to be more proficient in playing my instruments!
to exercise MORE
to be punctual 80% of the time

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